Cars

Wow, forgot there are so many 100% perfect people out there who have never made a stupid mistake in their lives! This was a momentary lapse of judgement that resulted in a pretty minor accident, that being the first and only I’ve had in 20+ years of driving. I was not driving drunk, speeding or doing anything overly reckless. I was eating. Silly mistake, yes. Don’t know if it really warrants the nasty comments.

Karma

By Justwantedathankyou - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Loudon

Today, I noticed that an SUV forgot to put their gas cap back on, so I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention. They slammed on their brakes, causing me to rear-end them. So much for good karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 910

You deserved it 1 576

Kids hear EVERYTHING

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 22:01 - Canada - Westbridge

Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 1 233

Snow day confusion

By hehe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 061

You deserved it 6 470

Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 68

Neighbors from hell

By Myself - 06/09/2010 10:45 - United States

Today, after a few months of my neighbor's friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed, "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 17 000

Baby you can't drive your car

By mustanggt - 15/07/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, my car is so unreliable that I received a letter saying that it had been kicked out of the American Automobile Association. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 159

Not the golden child

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 20:00 - Australia - Geraldton

Today, my father retired and made sure to buy both my younger sisters and their partners near new cars. Despite only one having a licence. Then bought the bare minimal definition of a "functioning" car for me, as compensation for paying off the family car on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 110

Just a prank, bro

By iscreamforicecream - 01/06/2011 11:53 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 475

You deserved it 5 758

Charity

By fail - 26/04/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I worked a carwash as a fundraiser. Being nice, I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 769

You deserved it 11 474

MY WAIF!

By Bogrbon - 26/01/2022 20:01

Today, for the third time this year, my wife backed into the garage door. We’d just finally got it fixed exactly one week ago for $1800 from the last time she did it. Somehow it’s my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 120

Road rage

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 06:00

Today, a guy hit my car, and I threatened to sue him after he started the conversation rudely. He told me to go ahead, because he doesn’t have any money or a job anyway, then because from his perspective he had nothing else really to lose, he kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 408

Road hog

By Anonymous - 24/03/2019 22:00

Today, I caught a ride with a coworker in their new Mercedes. They spent the drive passionately talking about how it made them a better driver and all the people that say otherwise are idiots. After running three stop signs and nearly sideswiping a minivan, I decided to walk the last mile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 261

You deserved it 186

The road to hell

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I realized that basically half of my route to work now is road construction with traffic narrowed to one lane in both directions and backups for miles. I really wish they wouldn't start so many projects at once. Even trying to get around it is a pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 72

I'm so tired

By slapstick1982 - 30/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Port Washington

Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 294

The planets made me do it

By c…… - 12/10/2021 08:00

Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 75

Vengeance is mine

By Anonymous - 22/11/2023 00:01

Today, I wouldn’t let my sister borrow my car, so she told our parents that I’m depressed and threatened to kill myself, which is a lie. My mom is on the phone to 999 trying to get me a 72-hour psychiatric hold in hospital, and every time I say it was a lie, my dad says I’m in typical denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 109

STOP! THIEF!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Stamford

Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 543

You deserved it 388

Feeling let down

By Ryan - 27/06/2021 02:01

Today, after my fourth flat tire, I realized that I've had more flat tires in the last 2 years than months in relationships throughout my entire life. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 158

Dumdum moment

By Shawn Kotris - 25/04/2021 21:30

Today, after my car died a mile from my house, I huffed, puffed and pushed it back to my house off the street, so I wouldn't get a ticket overnight. After getting it towed to the shop in the morning, I got a call telling me they put gas in it for me and it starts up fine now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 2 242

Deep cleanse

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 22:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I took my car to the automatic wash for the first time in years. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to remember to close the sunroof. I now own a freshly-cleaned car interior, soaked seats, and one very wet, traumatized dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 622

Menace II Society

By can’t buy her love - 23/03/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my teenage stepdaughter wrecked her third car texting and driving. I’ve pleaded with my husband to stop buying her new ones and to revoke her driving privileges. He’s so desperate for her to love him that he’ll give her literally anything. I’m scared she’s going to get someone killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 179

Carefree

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 12:00

Today, my wife got rear-ended and won't call the police, file an insurance claim, or send a photo of the wreck. She's too busy boozing it up in the city with her girlfriend. This is going to be an expensive lesson in adulting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 162

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The Top

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 572

You deserved it 2 672

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 51 894

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 583

You deserved it 8 651

Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 803

You deserved it 8 366

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our first apartment together by having a bloodcurdling, hot, screaming lovemaking session. Once we were done, we lay happily in each other's arms when we heard the neighbour say, no louder than a whisper, "They're done just in time for for the news." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 387

You deserved it 2 992

Today, my boyfriend told me that we can’t be together because I’m not the person he fell in love with since I don’t do anything all day. I’m 6 months pregnant and on bed rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 689

You deserved it 464