Break-ups

Good guy

By notsomuchinlove - 07/08/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining, "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 176

You deserved it 7 688

Easy fix

By failure - 13/10/2010 06:18 - Australia

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 452

You deserved it 3 112

Leaving makes sense

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 21:30

Today, I finally left my bitch girlfriend with her son, who has difficulties and violence issues. Now everyone is telling me I should go back, because the kid needs a father, never mind that I’m depressed and in therapy for suicidal urges. Guess my mental health doesn’t matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 182

Trigger happy

By Helen - 03/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my boyfriend saw a notification on my phone saying "Men's Singles". He lost his shit and dumped me. It was a tennis match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 102

So selfish

By wereallxmadhere - 24/08/2022 22:00

Today, I was told by my best friend and roommate of 7 years that I’m a selfish asshole. Why? I won’t get over the fact that she’s dating my ex, who I was with for 10 years and had 3 kids with. We broke up because he proposed, and then cheated while she was in the house 3 days later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 229

Alexa, play "Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend" by Pet Shop Boys

By Anonymous - 01/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went back to her ex for the fourth time. I don’t know why I keep going back knowing that will happen, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 863

Mind control

By yeah uh huh - 23/11/2021 04:58 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my now ex genuinely thought I’d buy the idea that he hasn’t answered a call or text in five days because he thought the "government" was "tracking" him. When I refused to buy his excuse, he raged that I was a "trained sheep." He was actually shacked up with his married coworker at the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 120

Cereal killer

By Kyley - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Froot Loop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 626

You deserved it 2 439

Weird reasoning

By Anonymous - 18/06/2021 06:01

Today, my girlfriend dumped me when I told her I once got out of jury duty. It was a legitimate reason with evidence from my neurosurgeon, but she thinks I should have done my civic duty, while enduring the pain of screws holding my skull together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 93

**** ICE

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 10:00

Today, I thought my girlfriend of two years had ghosted me. Turns out, she was deported after assuming that “this whole immigration thing will just sort itself out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 248

Insult to injury

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 254

You deserved it 5 926

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 15:00 - United States - Conway

Today, my mom broke it off with her online boyfriend. That wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact he's in the military, knows our address, and apparently is threatening to kill himself if she doesn't take him back. She tells me not to worry cause we have guns in the house, but I still don't feel safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 155

Long time gone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 18:01

Today, I haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week, after being in a relationship for 7 years with her. She'd called me, saying she had to care for her ex-husband because he had suffered a heart attack. Guess we're over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 164

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 14:00 - Guam

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, a month after I'd proposed and she'd said yes. When asked why all of the sudden, she said her family disapproved of me, and I wasn't worth fighting for and potentially losing her father's love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 147

Sabotage

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 17:00 - United States - Harlingen

Today, my girlfriend’s friend decided she wanted to tell her that I was flirting with other girls, just so we would break up. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 125

Dear Raymond…

By Frenchie - 12/09/2013 21:24 - United States - Belleville

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 643

You deserved it 4 331

The faith of acceptance

By Lesbo88 - 28/03/2022 16:00

Today, I sadly had to tell my fiancé of 3 years that I realized I’m a lesbian and not really attracted to men, and therefore I called off the wedding. He decided to retaliate and out me to my very Christian parents, who are unhappy campers right now. “Unhappy” is an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 370

Break ups are tough

By ... - 10/02/2010 09:08 - United States

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 199

You deserved it 4 382

By unlucky22 - 22/10/2017 19:00

Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 678

You deserved it 405

A huge mess of stuff

By GreatWeek - 30/05/2022 17:01 - United States - Dighton

Today, I had to help one of my best friends while he was having a seizure. Earlier this morning my longtime girlfriend broke up with me. Oh, and also earlier this week I found out my other best friend has cancer. Lord take me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 824

You deserved it 20 540

Not so subtle hint

By DumpedLikeADUmp - 05/09/2022 20:30

Today, I come home from work to my bedroom to find all my husband’s stuff gone. There was a note in the dresser, with his wedding band, that read, “I hope you can take a hint. Sorry.” Not only was I dumped, and I can’t locate him anywhere, but I now have to cover his part of the mortgage which I can’t afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 229

National shite day

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I got destroyed by a midterm at 8 a.m. that I studied quite hard for. I was already seeing red and holding back tears, then the FIRST thing I was graced to see as soon as I walked out of class was my ex entertaining a girl - the first time I’d ever seen it happen. I sobbed the whole way back on my walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 241

By nolongerengaged - 03/02/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 911

You deserved it 3 908

Mean boys

By 50love - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. After he did, he walked over to his friends. I saw him tell them that he broke up with me. After he'd finished, all of them cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 511

You deserved it 8 296

Intrusive "**** you" thoughts

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I had the memory of an ex-friend pop up in my brain and I couldn't help but wonder how the little homewrecker is doing these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 128

Please don't!

By Alone - 28/12/2012 05:24 - United States

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 538

You deserved it 8 939

Bad timing

By kellym - 22/04/2009 03:24 - Canada

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 634

You deserved it 158 185

Great excuses

By sumi - 01/06/2021 22:00

Today, I dumped my boyfriend because I found his OKCupid account. He claimed that he only has it so he can do the quizzes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 129

The betrayal!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 11:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years left me for the woman I had previously expressed concerns about. I wouldn't feel so bad if he hadn't dumped me and then got with her not even two hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 171

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I attempted to go on holiday but when my passport was scanned it triggered an alarm. Apparently I’m a wanted man for several crimes in Majorca. I’ve never once set foot in Majorca. You’d think my passport information would tell them that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 112

Today, I got broken up with by a professional clown who lives with his elderly parents and doesn’t have a car. This is definitely a low point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 384

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 827

You deserved it 46 114

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 526

You deserved it 2 972

Today, I realized that I’m a loser. My coworkers have hit 9k and 16k in total sales, and I’ve never even come close to those numbers. I swear I work hard, but everything just sucks. I fucking hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 124

Today, I thought I had two cats, an albino and a tuxedo, but apparently I have four. I just discovered that an orange cat and a black cat have somehow gotten into my basement and made themselves at home. There's no way in hell I can afford four cats. Oh, and the cats I actually own hate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 190