Annoying

Get me out of here

By dang ol' anonymous, man - 01/05/2022 03:59

Today, I was stuck in a room for eight hours with several guys doing impressions of Boomhauer from King of the Hill. Talkin' 'bout that dang ol' FML. FML

agreeclassic 719

vote type 1 159

Mismanagement

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss changed some company calendar settings on my computer to see what they'd be like. He didn't like it, so he told me to change it back, then left. I have no idea what he changed. FML

agreeclassic 33 523

vote type 1 3 798

The hunt is on

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, it's Easter Sunday and from what I can hear, my neighbors invented a very special kind of Easter egg hunt. Maybe they hid them in the walls and furniture? Because getting at them sure seems to involve power tools. FML

agreeclassic 637

vote type 1 147

Fine mess

By Anonymous - 28/06/2023 02:00

Today, I begged my parents not to take me to a restaurant for my birthday, but sure enough, they took me to one, along with my siblings, aunts, uncles, you name it. Ordering with them is a nightmare, so after a whole half-hour the waiter still hadn’t gotten everyone’s complicated orders written down. FML

agreeclassic 862

vote type 1 130

There's always that one friend…

By seriously? - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

agreeclassic 49 326

vote type 1 10 693

This could be the last time

By Jfc shut up - 31/01/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, the guy conducting an experiment in the lab with me is about to quit. He keeps loudly announcing every time he does something for the last time. "This is the LAST TIME I'm gonna mix reagents!" I'm about to shove this clown into the vacuum oven. FML

agreeclassic 421

vote type 1 108

Neighbours at war

By Pl. - 07/02/2024 02:30 - India - Mumbai

Today, a man next door has been coughing constantly for past 3 months and I can hear him despite closing my windows. During the day there's construction noise and at night this asshole. I asked him many times to close his windows but he won't. Now I play coughing on a speaker at the same time he starts, just to piss him off. FML

agreeclassic 466

vote type 1 408

Controlling

By Anonymous - 20/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Holden

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

agreeclassic 535

vote type 1 128

Meritocracy

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss brought his son in as our new manager. This kid has zero experience in our industry and yet waltzed into a £75,000 job where his sole responsibility is telling me how to do a skilled job I started before he was born. Plus half the stuff he tries to tell me is incorrect. Cretin. FML

agreeclassic 749

vote type 1 87

Dingus magnet

By Creepmagnet - 07/09/2023 08:00

Today, and every day I go out in public, I apparently have a sign on my back saying, “If you’re a creepy old man, please harass and stare at me.” The best part? No one my own age has ever spared me even a second look. FML

agreeclassic 602

vote type 1 159

I can't win

By abt2bsingle - 13/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML

agreeclassic 386

vote type 1 292

Make it stop

By hiccup - 28/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, as always, I get the hiccups ten times a day, sometimes more. They are very painful, and the only thing that makes them go away is water. The doctors have found no apparent cause. I hate my body. FML

agreeclassic 507

vote type 1 107

Freudian slip

By someonevexed - 01/02/2009 19:01 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

agreeclassic 39 036

vote type 1 10 233

Yapping and chirping

By My headphones were busted - 08/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

agreeclassic 424

vote type 1 96

Piss off

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 12:00

Today, I had to deal with my crazy new neighbour who tried to physically stop me from laying my new driveway, on my property, because she claimed she’s allergic to cement while it’s still wet. Even if that were true, piss off back to your house away from the wet cement then. FML

agreeclassic 1 028

vote type 1 100

Never be that atheist debate-lord Andy

By Aaaaaaaaaa - 08/09/2022 20:00

Today, I was ranting about creationists, when a friend interrupted me. He managed to mount a defense of creationism that I couldn't argue with. I got so flustered, I punched him in the face and ran away. FML

agreeclassic 215

vote type 1 1 802

This boils my piss

By Boil Man - 01/12/2022 02:00

Today, I found out it's not normal to constantly develop boils in the same general areas. Some of those areas include: My neck, my abdomen, my forearm, my forehead, right next to my eyes, right below my armpit, right next to my genitals, and even directly on my penis. I want to rip my skin off. FML

agreeclassic 863

vote type 1 120

Whoomp whoomp

By Workworkwork - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I’m trying to scrape $65 together to get the cheapest glasses possible. My partner is equally upset because she wants a MacBook to replace her working laptop. I’m only looking because I’m getting headaches from how old my current lenses are. FML

agreeclassic 2 722

vote type 1 343

Recruitment hell

By Frustrated Worker - 16/07/2022 12:00

Today, I was let go by a job for the second time in less than a month, for the same reason - they couldn’t be bothered to give me any training or feedback. They even said I worked hard and had drive, but the wrong “skill set.” This could have been brought to my attention at the interview. FML

agreeclassic 974

vote type 1 125

Friday Friday! TFIF!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, it's the end of a truly great week. First I got my period, then my boyfriend broke up with me, then I woke up and found a ton of spider bites on me, I got allergies, I almost threw up when I was driving home with my dad, my acne is getting really bad, and I have no money. Amazing week. FML

agreeclassic 1 044

vote type 1 163

Demon child

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my Scout troop was to work on my Eagle project. We specifically told everyone where to be and when, except one annoying kid we don't want there. His mother pawns him off on us because he's an aggressive, violent little maggot who can't be trusted with a Fisher-Price screwdriver. Guess who showed up anyway. FML

agreeclassic 424

vote type 1 152

Leave me alone

By emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

agreeclassic 29 545

vote type 1 3 349

**** brainrot

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while playing cards, me and my boyfriend were getting super competitive and started wagering sexual stuff. His first and only choice: anal. Why only anal? All the time anal, there’s hundreds of other things to try, why do men always go straight to anal? It’s gets boring after a while. FML

agreeclassic 291

vote type 1 209

Commodity consumption

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 18:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend helped me move some things into storage, all while complaining about the amount of stuff I own. He's the one who keeps buying me things I don't need or want, even though I tell him every year I wouldn’t mind getting no gifts at all. FML

agreeclassic 712

vote type 1 185

Nice guys

By Yourlossbech - 19/05/2023 00:01

Today, the woman who turned me down would rather date a bum who smokes weed all day and works at Panera Bread. I have 3 college degrees, a respectable career, and I’m drug free. No matter how much I point this out, she gets butthurt, and has now felt the need to block my social media. FML

agreeclassic 288

vote type 1 2 536

Pest control

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I’m living with a complete moron. I moved in thinking it was gonna be smooth but nope. Dude thought it was okay to put mothballs INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE to help with roaches. Who the fuck does that? FML

agreeclassic 153

vote type 1 439

Women be smiling

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 03:00

Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML

agreeclassic 617

vote type 1 305

Quit meddling

By Anonymous - 27/07/2022 09:00 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, my dad tried to get me to change my resume. Here's the fun part: I took resume classes and had a career coach help me make it. Even knowing all that, he still insisted I change the entire thing. A perfectly fine professional resume into one that resembles a Word resume template. I just want to scream right now. FML

agreeclassic 832

vote type 1 173

Highway to hell

By hnnhyoo - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxnard

Today, I got told that I was going to hell for turning down a man who was at least in his 60s. Even after I told him I was married. FML

agreeclassic 25 589

vote type 1 1 708

That's just under 3 degrees Celsius

By NotWhitneyH - 17/01/2023 06:00

Today, I was watching Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody. I guess I was too much into the songs because I got heckled and kicked out of the theatre. Oh, and I got ice all over my jacket. It’s 37 degrees outside. FML

agreeclassic 177

vote type 1 1 176

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

agreeclassic 43 156

vote type 1 7 815

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

agreeclassic 47 722

vote type 1 4 405

Today, I was worried because it's July and I still haven't found a summer job, despite applying to 50 places. It was fine, because I remembered my savings account. I told my parents. Instead of being relieved, they said they're going to take the money from me for being lazy, and using it for my tuition, despite promising to pay for it. FML

agreeclassic 1 805

vote type 1 350

Today, I finally went to an orthopedic doctor to figure out why my sprained ankle hasn’t healed and keeps getting worse. Turns out I have stress fractures and made them way worse by walking around on them for a month, because my regular doctor told me to stop being hysterical over a sprained ankle. FML

agreeclassic 587

vote type 1 94

Today, I have to pay my college an extra $1000 because there is a $20 charge every time you get locked out of your room, and I have an extremely poor short-term memory. I'm also only allowed to have exactly one keycard at any given time. FML

agreeclassic 1 195

vote type 1 3 370

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

agreeclassic 73 846

vote type 1 8 708