mirhandac

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

Today, I found out I wasn't cool enough to be invited to a college party that happened last night. The one in charge of inviting people was my girlfriend of two years. FML

Heartless swine

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML