Willard15

Mick This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff United States

Opportunist

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

787 comments

KAAALIS 16 March 2009, 02:20 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

1224 comments

jilted 21 March 2009, 07:15 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

342 comments