Miss jersey city, USA 31 years-old In a relationship
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
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