Mr San Ramon,CA, USA 43 years-old
Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
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