•
•
•

EvAnWuzhere

0

1

0

18

1266

50

truckee, CA
39
Sunday 18 January 1987

Evanwuzhere

...

Evanwuzhere -

KathrinLor...

Evanwuzhere -

Evanwuzhere

lovers5201

bubucricri

greaat000

swmr4life

KathrinLor...

eski2015

scottishoa...

OIF_my_lif...

ch2358

p0kegeek

New_York_f...

plexico

Evanwuzhere

Evanwuzhere

RachelDC - 03/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

75 190

5 665

Classic

Dirtyswede - 17/06/2009 14:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this Swedish girl I'd met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if I could ejaculate on her face. FML

55 128

22 886

wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

608

91

RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

800

1 949

Crystal - 10/01/2009 08:21 - France

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

24 855

6 249