Mr Bellingham 55 years-old Single
Today, whilst on holiday in Bali, I set off on my way to the day spa for 4 hours of much-needed relaxation. I tripped about a meter away from the entrance and broke my arm. FML
Today, after weeks of getting 4 auto-emails per day begging me to review my university's roommate matching service, I finally got one with a reply address. I sent an irate note and then realized I'd emailed the housing director. My housing contract is still pending. FML
Today, my girlfriend got super paranoid when I received flowers, along with a card saying what a "lovely time" the sender had last weekend. My girlfriend decided this was proof I'd cheated on her. The card was signed "Vanessa," which is also her mother's name. Who stayed with us last weekend. FML
Today, my best friend asked me to be the best man at his wedding. I had to decline because the bride's family has deep prison gang ties and I'm a correctional officer. FML
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, I added my boss to the "ew" list on Skype. I then realized it sends her a notification. FML
Today, I found out that we're supposed to get 3 feet of snow, and the person who plows our driveway is out of town. We're stranded on a huge hill. FML
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