conagaga

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML