Mr Ljubljana, Slovenia
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
