albertozeta_fml

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Albertozeta_fml's favorite FMLs

By PicturePerfect - 02/03/2009 21:33 - Canada

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

agreeclassic 167

vote type 1 1 026

By Anonymous - 24/06/2015 02:48 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

agreeclassic 34 335

vote type 1 3 715

Saxophone solo

By fartypants - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Winter Park

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

agreeclassic 33 926

vote type 1 4 581

Stop!

By hobbled - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

agreeclassic 39 117

vote type 1 2 054

By sianydiddle - 30/04/2015 22:36

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

agreeclassic 39 399

vote type 1 3 520

sianydiddle app_comment_confession_title

sianydiddle 20

Friday 1 May 2015 11:42

OP here! Can't believe this got posted! Let me shed some light on this. This was a few years ago now, I was with this complete turd for a year, and it's safe to say he's an ex. He used me, and made me think I was going crazy when he used to stay out for whole weekends without so much as a text, and came back with hickeys. He used to tell me it was all in my head and I stupidly believed him. With my 'friend', she was also his brothers girlfriend. His brother was with me when we caught them. She ran out of the house and never gave us an explanation, or an apology. She just ignored us, and to be honest, that suited me fine. With him saying he wanted to be better for me, I had no frame of reference, so that was just a load of bullshit. Silver lining in it all, I'm now with an amazing guy who treats me perfectly. My ex is still single from that day, no woman has been stupid enough to fall for him, which he deserves cause he broke my damn heart. Me and his bro are still friends. To all saying I should've joined them? No thanks, they seemed pretty contented with each other, which is great for them :)