vbob

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML