slimilicious

Miss New Orleans, USA 29 years-old In a relationship

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff London, United Kingdom

It wasn't me

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

112 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff Grand Rapids, United States

Shotgun wedding

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

167 comments

fuckoffgran 1 August 2013, 14:46 Ireland

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

106 comments