The Top

I put something on it to make it stop bleeding right after I shaved but it must have opened up again before I left the house. And no, I don't work at Starbucks...I stopped by to pick up breakfast and then came back home.

Sobering

By happy bday - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 414

You deserved it 9 528

Zinger

By LZapped - 08/06/2015 13:35 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 414

You deserved it 5 353

By Anonymous - 06/11/2011 21:05 - United Kingdom

Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 413

You deserved it 5 610

By Bruja5 - 07/02/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 6 168

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 2 686

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 532

You deserved it 6 637

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 133

You deserved it 4 919

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 036

You deserved it 2 811

Today, I watched our presidential candidates face off like high school girls with the whole world watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 322

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait, hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was four extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 935

You deserved it 53 994