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Living the meme

By OliviaOlive - 24/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML

agreeclassic 409

vote type 1 89

Revealing

By Anonymous - 08/05/2025 08:00

Today, I am fuming. We went to the beach in the sunny weather and my husband finally got round to posting the pictures on Facebook. In one of them I’m sunbathing and one of my fanny lips was hanging completely out the edge of my bikini. FML

agreeclassic 409

vote type 1 214

Romance is dead

By Mom - 08/11/2025 03:00

Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML

agreeclassic 409

vote type 1 196

Great advice

By Toxic masculinity - 03/09/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my son told me he liked a girl at school. I told him to be extra sweet to her, carry her bag, and make every day brighter for her. My husband snorted and said, "That's simp shit. Don't do any of that. Act like a man, and if she's not into you, shrug and move on." FML

agreeclassic 409

vote type 1 300

Bonding

By Anonymous - 14/10/2025 00:00

Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML

agreeclassic 409

vote type 1 119

Don't call us, we'll call you

By Despair - 27/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was at a job interview and, just as I was about to answer a question, I suddenly got the worst case of hiccups. I tried to hold them in but ended up hiccuping in rhythm, making me sound like a malfunctioning robot. I spent the rest of the interview with a red face and no idea how to get my dignity back. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 72

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 00:00

Today, after nerve pain and trouble sitting down, I found a lump in my ass crack. My doctor thought might be a tumour or cancer, so I was sent for scans. Apparently my whole life I’ve had an ingrown vestigial tail at the bottom of my spine hidden under the skin. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 69

Yours or theirs? Or both?

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 04:00 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 139

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my best friend got married. I had introduced her to her now husband, and ever since she has basically acted like I don't exist. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 92

Nervous nelly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 99

Higher standards of living

By gross? - 14/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 83

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 21/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after a year and a half of being with who I thought was the love of my life, we broke up. It was mutual, and even though they emotionally cheated in the beginning, hiding messages, and lying to me about things, I feel like a failure for not making it work. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 128

Hang in there, Mom

By Anonymous - 12/10/2025 00:00

Today, I realized that the root of my depression is that I hate being a mom. l love my two boys but I barely function taking care of myself due to years of abuse. My 6 year-old and 8 month-old have me constantly overstimulated to the point I enjoy nothing anymore. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 166

Red flag

By Anonymous - 01/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I kissed my crush for the first time and immediately started sneezing uncontrollably. It turns out that I’m allergic to his perfume. He laughed while I tried to blow my nose without looking insane. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 79

Not your fault

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 141

Roomies

By Werebothwomen - 19/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate of over 8 years assumed “the rag” I keep “above the toilet” was meant for wiping, and “the rag” on the separate towel rack was for washing your face. I have used the hand towel “above the toilet” to dry my hands after washing for a decade. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 177

All mine

By Happy NOT Father's Day to me? - 17/06/2025 15:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, I met my ex, whom I have not seen in years, in the airport. She was with a 3 year-old girl who ran to me with open arms, happily saying, "Papa!" Overjoyed, I picked her up, hugging her back, and kissed her. My ex then condescendingly said, "She's NOT yours!" When I asked why, she said, "She calls ALL MEN 'Papa'!" FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 155

We believe in you

By No life (apparently) - 06/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after months of playing chess as a hobby, I'm actually starting to get kind of good. Excited at my results, I decided to share this with a friend. Her response: "Don't quit your day job. You're not becoming a professional." First of all, I'm not trying to be THAT good, nor do I expect to. Secondly, ouch. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 115

Stolen valor

By Anonymous - 21/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, “I’m so proud of you!” I immediately replied, “Thanks, Mom!” Then I realized it was meant for my sister, and my mom had accidentally texted me instead of her. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 88

Terms and conditions may apply

By Why? - 29/09/2025 00:00

Today, I talked with my fiance about our wedding. He drew up a prenuptial agreement. One of the provisions said that if I ever go vegetarian or vegan, we immediately divorce and I get nothing. I thought it was a joke and laughed. He was deadly serious. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 209

BFF

By Ash - 07/09/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my best friend, who I speak to pretty much all day, every single day, started dating someone and blocked and ghosted me. I guess my only close friend wasn't such a good friend after all. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 72

It's a trap!

By iMFUGHG - 10/11/2025 00:00

Today. upon learning that I'd friend-zoned a good friend of hers, my girlfriend dumped me. I worked so hard to win her over. She told me, "Just a tip: next time, go after people who like you. Don't friend-zone them, you just may be missing out on a good person." I told her I wanted HER. She told me, "But I don't." FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 126

Evening out

By Pissed and broke - 30/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I finally got a raise after years of hard work! Excited, I went on a shopping spree, but as I checked the latest prices, it turns out that my extra income barely covers the increase in my grocery bill. Thanks, inflation. FML

agreeclassic 407

vote type 1 123

No thanks!

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding, and during the bouquet toss, I stood back and let the single ladies have their moment. The bouquet flew straight at me, hit me in the face, and I instinctively grabbed it. Now everyone thinks I’m desperate to get married. FML

agreeclassic 406

vote type 1 119

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was invited to a friend's wedding. When I got there, I was surprised to see that it was a surprise wedding, meaning I wasn’t invited at all. I stood there awkwardly for an hour, until the bride's mother finally noticed me and whispered, "You're not on the guest list, are you?" FML

agreeclassic 406

vote type 1 108

Chancer

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 22:00

Today, on day one of opening my first restaurant, a customer complained his chicken fried steak contained only steak and no chicken. I thought he was taking the piss but no, he was just that dumb, and he refused to leave until he got a refund despite having eaten it all. I had to call the police. FML

agreeclassic 406

vote type 1 71

Brave

By Only sad - 25/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my best friend. As I was about to tell him, he interrupted me and said, “Oh hey, by the way, I met a guy and we’re going on our first date tonight.” I awkwardly said, “Congrats,” and then I went home to eat an entire pint of ice cream by myself. FML

agreeclassic 406

vote type 1 159

Living in the material world

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I realized I have most of the things I wanted when I was a kid. The ones I don't have are the emotional connections. I have all of the *material* things, and I hate my life because I'm lonely and touch-starved. FML

agreeclassic 406

vote type 1 117

NEXT!

By Brito - 26/11/2025 15:00

Today, I found the girl I like’s Hinge account. Her prompts and things in common are exactly me and what I bring into a relationship, yet she rejected me. When I brought this up with her, she told me, “Well, you’re exactly what I want in a man, but I want someone taller with better looks.” FML

agreeclassic 405

vote type 1 203

Self-confidence boost

By Uri - 12/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML

agreeclassic 405

vote type 1 156

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML

agreeclassic 422

vote type 1 570

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

agreeclassic 1 452

vote type 1 2 699

Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML

agreeclassic 53 278

vote type 1 4 590

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick." He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

agreeclassic 42 909

vote type 1 3 201

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

agreeclassic 61 253

vote type 1 4 872

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

agreeclassic 44 772

vote type 1 3 636