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Classic

By imfucking25 - 19/02/2026 12:00

Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 276

Payback

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 09:00

Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 123

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 03:00

Today, I canceled our wedding that was scheduled for tomorrow because my fiancee's father passed away unexpectedly this morning. She got furious when I told her, because she still wanted to go through with it, and said that her dad would have wanted us to. Now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 675

Heavy sleeper

By Carm - 24/02/2026 22:00

Today, my cat thought it would be a GREAT idea to sleep in my bag. I only found out when I was driving to work. He isn’t allowed outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 137

White light

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 12:00

Today, my brain hates me and refuses to let me sleep. No matter how physically exhausted I am, my mind just keeps racing. I just wanna get some sleep! FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 65

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 00:00

Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 138

The proposal

By Anonymous - 05/03/2026 20:00

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 161

Mr Hyde

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 22:00

Today, I filed for divorce after only two months because my husband would not allow my kids to attend their father's funeral. I know it's necessary and I have to get my kids away from this prick, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 138

New BFF unlocked

By Anna - 16/03/2026 12:00

Today, it's been three years that I've worked as a waitress at a fine local restaurant. I like the work and it felt special when a regular customer, with my permission, hugged and complimented me, and said, "I appreciate you, 'Anna the Cool'. Thanks for helping to make this my fave restaurant." If only my friends were this nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 93

Healthcare is broken

By kimraye20 - 20/03/2026 00:00

Today, I've found out I developed carpal tunnel in my right hand and need surgery. On top of that I have degenerative arthritis in my left hip, which needs immediate surgery as well. I haven’t met my $5,000 insurance deductible and have to pay out of pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 74

Craving taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband caught me sneaking out of his parents' house to get food. I love my in-laws, they’re the type of people others dream of having, but the food is so horrible. I don’t understand how in such a large family of amazing people not one of them has figured out how to make a decent meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 93

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 12:00

Today, my parents told me that they don't respect my decision to stay single for the rest of my life and never date again, and have made it clear they will continue pressuring me to find someone new. I'm only 27 and I've already been both widowed and divorced. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 83

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 273

Try microplastics!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was helping a friend with a DIY project and thought it would be fun to add some glitter to the mix. We ended up using WAY too much, and now I have glitter everywhere. Not only am I covered head to toe, but I keep finding it in the weirdest places, like inside my shoes, on my phone, and even in my coffee cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 510

Shut up and play the hits

By Stefan - 19/04/2025 09:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I asked my 10 year-old guitar student why Good Friday is a holiday. He answered, "We remember Jesus Christ's crucifixion. Isn't it sad to kind of celebrate someone's death? Well, I don't care, I just enjoy the free holiday and I don't believe in magic anyway!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 559

Living alone, but not really

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally have my own space and was hopeful that I would get to improve myself in different ways, personally… except that the thin walls contradicts my personal goal during this moment of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 143

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today. my four year-old grand-daughter asked her mother why she married her father, since he wasn't a Prince. I think we need to dial back the Disney movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 133

Way too smooth

By Stud - 30/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 389

Who are you? Who am I?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 658

The more you know

By Donald Boyd - 12/05/2025 06:00 - United States - Canton

Today, I went to a niece's birthday party and was very careful with what food I ate, as I have gluten and garlic sensitivity. I left the party with numb lips, so I guess I have a new sensitivity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 81

Development purgatory

By hulfilvia - 16/05/2025 00:00

Today, I have been working on making a video game for three years, I'm tired and I want to quit, but the sunk cost is too much and I can't let it go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 177

Crushed

By DeniedBoi - 24/05/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, the girl I’ve had a crush on for months told me she scored a Tinder date and she’s so excited to go out with him. Just last week, I worked up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend and she told me she doesn’t want a relationship, and “doesn’t believe in love anymore.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 192

Mean girls

By ToxicFriends - 26/05/2025 20:00 - Germany

Today, a mama from my daughter's class has been talking nicely with me, and we've been friends for the past year, going to the playground and library together regularly. Now, all of a sudden, she has stopped talking or going out with us for no reason. I don't know if my daughter and I are both back in school now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 88

Bet!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 21:00 - China - Wuhan

Today, I made a bet with my classmate that I would dare to play a weird song in front of the professor. I did, and as promised, she was supposed to give me $20, but she said it was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 351

Hacked

By Now an Android kind of guy - 30/05/2025 18:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, at the Apple Store, the crew, security, manager, technician, and fellow customers alike, never bothered covering up to laugh at me when I went there to have my phone fixed. Someone somehow hacked my iPhone, and when I use the Face ID, it makes a bloodcurdling scream of fear in full volume, then shuts down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 106

Watergate II: Pig in the City

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned my hotel room had the shittiest blinds ever and that if you want true privacy you need to shut the curtains. I discovered this after three wives from the opposite windows complained I’d been flashing their husbands when I got out of the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 130

Predator meets prey

By RIP - 09/06/2025 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I found a mouse in my kitchen. Wanting to go about it the humane way, I captured the little guy and released it outside. I then watched as a stray cat in my yard noticed and brutally murdered it. No good deed… FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after carefully keeping track of what I was eating and trying not to turn into a midnight snacker in order to lose weight, my sugar crashed at around 10:30pm. Before this I had two high protein bagels (at around 6:30pm) and a whole pint of fresh blueberries (at roughly 8pm) yet my sugar still crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 139

Stop staring!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, my 5-year-old told me that she'd learnt about gravity, then asked, “So when you fall down, is it because the Earth punched you?” I said yes, along with a giggle. Later at the supermarket, she tripped and screamed, “THE EARTH HIT ME AGAIN!” I was then reminded of high school when it felt like everyone was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 399

Get this shit away from me

By Tipped off - 18/06/2025 22:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I ordered sushi for dinner. When it arrived, I realized the delivery driver had given me the wrong order, a family-sized vegan lasagna. I don’t even like regular lasagna, let alone vegan lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 96

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The Top

Today, I went to lunch with my sister. As the waitress was bringing our food, she dropped it on the floor. She apologized and brought us new food. After we finished eating and I looked at the bill, I noticed she'd charged us twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 567

You deserved it 3 399

Today, I found out I might have been exposed to HPV. So what do I do? End up in the internet self-diagnosis rabbit hole. Now I'm convinced I have something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 788

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 455

You deserved it 7 067

Today, I mistakenly sent a voice message to my boss while imitating him in a comical way. The message contained my spot-on impression, complete with exaggerated jargon and phrases he frequently uses. I didn't realize it until I received a reply saying, "LOL, nailed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 819

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 539

You deserved it 3 873

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 839

You deserved it 3 943