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Rotten

By anon - 05/02/2025 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 86

I've got blisters on my fingers

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I started out as a serious artist, I even got some of my work displayed in galleries. Now I live in my mom’s attic and I manage to pay her some rent by drawing furry porn for online perverts. I’ve drawn so many hair-covered buttholes I don’t even get upset anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 207

Overconfident

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I tried carrying all my groceries inside in one trip. I succeeded, but also succeeded in tearing the handles, dropping everything, and rolling a can of soup straight under my neighbor’s car. Never trust cheap tote bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 380

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Desperate housewife - 13/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 123

Slowly walking down the hall

By Rayray - 17/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was walking down the hallway at work when I saw a coworker I hadn't talked to in a while. I went for a high-five as a friendly greeting, but she didn’t see me coming and instead awkwardly grabbed my hand like she was about to hold it. We both froze for a second, and then awkwardly sighed and practically ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 313

Notice me, please

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 19:00 - Australia

Today, three people commented on my new haircut. The one I got about two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 141

Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 66

Relax

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 152

Rock on!

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I took a selfie at a concert with the stage in the background. As I tilted my head to get the perfect angle, I knocked over the guy in front of me’s beer. He turned around just in time to see me dripping in weak piss beer, and my selfie became a snapshot of my humiliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 603

Hangry

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 19:00 - Canada

Today, McDonald's screwed up my order 3 whole times. GIVE ME MY NUGGETS PLEASE. HOW CAN SOMEONE MAGICALLY FORGET 40 NUGGETS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 164

It's the big T

By Annoyed - 28/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment building to drive to work. I walked up to my car when I noticed someone had written "FUCK ELON" on the hood. I guess some protesters can't spell, which explains how they'd confused "Toyota" for "Tesla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 75

Retromania

By #ThanksObama - 02/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to buy groceries and got hit with a wave of nostalgia… not because of the products, but because I remember when a carton of eggs didn’t cost as much, if not more, than a gallon of gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 112

Carplayed out

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn’t find my phone as I left work, but knew it was on me since CarPlay connected. Later, the music cut out speeding up onto the freeway. I then recalled placing it on the roof as I loaded up the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 507

I don't know what I'm doing

By louise - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 501

Delay, deny, defend

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 15:00 - United States - London

Today, I finally got insurance after months of paperwork, and so I went to the doctor. I was billed $873 for a "consultation" that pretty much consisted of being weighed and told to "Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 49

Happy Easter!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 342

No you don't

By Triangle - 06/05/2025 03:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my half-drunk best friend, who I share lot of hobbies with, and love hanging out with, publicly confessed her love for me, and described how her heart burns every time she sees me with my wife, who's my childhood sweetheart, and love of my life. Now I am having to choose between the two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 354

Snitch

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 762

Boss makes a dollar…

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 20:53 - United States - Olympia

Today, after one year of overworking myself to the point of panic attacks multiple times a week, I finally got my annual raise, which is given based on performance and effort. My warehouse's minimum production is 95. I regularly was in the 130s. My raise was 2 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 209

Alesana_pond tells us more.

Alesana_pond 9

Monday 2 June 2025 5:41

op here!!! I have since quit! **** Michael's.

Sounds fair enough

By Ethan Pullenayegem - 10/06/2025 18:00 - Canada

Today, my dad came up into my room and told me that as a consequence of breaking my MacBook in anger, he’s punishing me by helping him with yardwork every single hour of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 1 197

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 06:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I threw a get together and one of my friends came. She recently lost a good friend. It made me realise how selfish I’ve been to want to end things, and I can’t imagine seeing her sob into someone else’s arms about me. I feel terrible, I love her…am I horrible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 417

Kinda ****** up

By me - 03/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 820

I'm so tired

By Musical Terror - 12/07/2025 16:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, I had a panic attack on the bus, because I couldn’t find my headphones. I was listening to them the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 393

You're fit but don't you know it

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I was running at the gym, feeling like a fitness influencer. I increased the treadmill speed to “sprint” mode. My shoelace got caught in the belt, and I was launched backward into a rack of yoga mats, knocking them over like bowling pins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 343

Baywatched out

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 105

You deserved it 10 206

Nice try, Susan

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 23:00

Today, my neighbour is suing me because she got stung in the face by a wasp, a wasp that came from my garden into hers and stung her, therefore it must be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 66

Average office interaction

By Anonymous - 19/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to compliment a coworker on her new haircut, saying, “Wow, it makes you look so much younger!” She raised an eyebrow and replied, “You mean I looked old before?” My brain short-circuited and I followed up with, “No, no, you just… looked older.” Everyone within earshot laughed while I wanted to crawl under the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 247

Fun fun fun

By But I love sex - 21/08/2025 03:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 955

Get out of jail free card

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom was diagnosed autistic, therefore thinks we aren’t allowed to be mad at her for anything she does from here on out or things she did before. Odd, I didn’t know that beating, neglecting and humiliating your children on a near daily basis was an autistic trait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 84

Cooked

By Lonely - 07/09/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 94

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 111

You deserved it 9 062

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 5 379

Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 010

You deserved it 2 979

Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 171

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 251

You deserved it 8 505

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 033

You deserved it 2 083