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Hey guys, OP here! :) So, good news everyone! I'm not dead (yet). Though I almost died laughing at these comments, thanks for making my day! :D I do believe that there is a logical explanation for this odd occurrence. We do have a communal laundry room in my apartment, as many of you have suggested. The strange thing is, we live in a building that only has 8 apartments, and none of us have babies or young children. And I was not doing laundry that day at all, nor do I recall seeing the sock before we left, which was in a very noticeable spot on the floor. I saw it immediately upon our return. Soooooooo ghosts. It's definitely ghosts. *DUN DUN DUUUUUUN* The plot thickens.

OP talkin here bb's. Short version of story: Super early in the morning, after a night of partying, I offered a couple people the option to crash at my place (as they lived a ways away, it was pouring rain, no transportation etc.) YES they knew I was in the bed, thought they were being sneaky. I was awoken from bed movement. To people saying I should have said / done something..I did..hence the username.

OP here, I made an account just to respond. To explain, my girlfriend is very rarely on top, and she was in the kind of pain wanting 'mood' that she didn't notice the contact and I certainly wasn't aware of it. I already knew that she said this could happen and avoided it at all costs. Well, turns out the angle and her weight pushing down caused us to reach the limit and well... I was on the bottom. Simple as that. I in no way did this on purpose. She knows it too.

First of all, Iwanted to thank FML staff for publishing this, I didn't think they would. Anyway, I just wanted to clear up some obvious confusion here. The full story is, of course my sister dropped off her baby at my apartment. Later on, I had left the baby for her nap, naturally leaving the door open as I always saw my sister do. I went into the kitchen to make her bottle and a quick meal for me. I didn't see my dog near me but I thought nothing of it since he is always so well- behaved. Right when I finished, I heard the baby cry out but giggle, so I thought maybe she had gotten one of the toys. Clearly wrong. I went into the room to see my dog had somehow (do not ask how for I do not know) opened her crib, gotten in, and did...well, did that. I had to quickly pry him off of course but unfortunately, the image is burned into my mind.