The Top

OP here. Wow. Thanks for all the nice words, guys. My "puppy" is a 120lb, 9 month old Great Dane. Her name is Lily, and she is worse than Marmaduke and Marly put together. She is a total troublemaker. I had made zucchini bread, beef stew, a bunch of sides, as well as a cake. All of it was from scratch. I had actually put one of those baby gates across the entry-way to the kitchen, and she ended up knocking it over. Next time, I think she's going in the cage while I take a shower. And btw, I did just order a pizza. Everyone had a good laugh at me. And yes, she's practically impossible to stay mad at.

By News-print Face Kate - 18/07/2012 16:37 - United Kingdom

Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 1 883

By lovealways22 - 17/07/2012 07:19 - United States - Littleton

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 2 843

Shame! Shame! Shame!

By Telinaa - 08/11/2010 02:25 - Australia

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 224

You deserved it 3 074

Typecasting

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 982

You deserved it 5 109

Decisions, decisions

By Not how that works - 10/11/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I were talking about possibly having a threesome. In his words, choosing a woman would be "a fun new experience for us to enjoy together." But choosing a man would be "forcing me to watch you cheat, and pretend that I'm okay with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 29/08/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 487

You deserved it 4 375

By anonymous - 06/11/2010 21:08 - Canada

Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 444

You deserved it 4 041

By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 23:06 - United States

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 367

You deserved it 22 737

Matchmakers

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account for my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get married until much later because I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 498

You deserved it 3 834

Trauma dumping

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 04:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, my partner of 4 years has told me that trying to be emotionally present and initiate affection from time to time is too much of a change for them to handle. I wish they had said that the first time I brought it up, instead of stringing me along. Oh, but they "love me". Just not enough to be a better person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 979

You deserved it 4 992

Dee628 tells us more.

Dee628 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 19:41

I had to move back in until I can move into my building for school on the east coast. I've tried cleaning with bathroom cleaner and bleach, but the smell keeps coming back. Neither of them will admit to it and I never pee in the shower, EW. =P Obviously not all men are slobs, I just wish I didn't live with two of them. I lived with one of my guy friend's last year and had the same problem. I was the only one that actually cleaned. ~_~ (I'm the OP, I never thought I'd make it onto FML, so I was surprised to see this! lol)

By stickers - 13/05/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was going through my mom's closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 605

You deserved it 4 272