The Top

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By AznKoreanGuy - 04/03/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 947

You deserved it 4 695

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 031

You deserved it 7 983

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 02:42 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at Halloween costumes online for this year's Halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 547

You deserved it 3 916

Money, Ethan

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 08:01

Today, I felt like working out again since it’s been a while. When I was done and talking to my wife about how good I felt afterwards, my 3 year-old came and patted my stomach and said, "Baby in there, baby in there." Yes, I feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 175

Culture wars

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 00:00

Today, I was visiting California with a friend. I saw a lot of palm trees by the road and asked my friend, "Wouldn't that be dangerous when there are coconuts...?" My friend gave me weird look and told me that those are two different trees. Turns out I thought palm trees and coconut trees are the same tree for 20+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 471

This is us

By Anonymous - 30/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my blind mother kept covering her ears any time I spoke to her and kept counting down every 20 minutes to the upcoming NFL game, which came on at 4pm. Finally dejected, my husband and I left after kickoff. She made my father call to guilt trip us about how she wanted us to stay for the game for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 111

By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 823

You deserved it 5 236

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 417

You deserved it 33 021

By Jaxur05 - 28/02/2012 13:27 - United States

Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 170

You deserved it 3 193

By reginaphalange - 27/05/2010 14:06 - Australia

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 870

You deserved it 3 337

Brief encounter

By Angry Orphan - 09/09/2022 15:29

Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 07:14 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 16 123

Gratitude

By srsly_what - 28/04/2011 23:13 - United Kingdom

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 3 541

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 858

You deserved it 51 918

By i2xl - 24/02/2012 15:28 - Canada

Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 692

You deserved it 33 954

Good start

By atsukobo - 23/02/2012 07:59 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 983

You deserved it 3 907

By Candy - 20/05/2010 12:37 - United States

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 361

You deserved it 56 644

It isn't

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 16:02

Today, it's my birthday, none of my friends wished me a thing. I spent the whole day crying and then decided to call few of them and sobbingly demanded an explanation. Most of them didn't pick up, the rest called me a drama queen, saying that my birthday isn't as important as I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 1 806

By Text - 25/04/2011 16:27 - United States

Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 246

You deserved it 8 384

People are jerks

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 03:59

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 68

Dose me up!

By Anonymous - 28/01/2013 21:18 - United States - Fayette

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 306

You deserved it 2 177

FAKE NEWS!

By cocomitchie - 07/07/2021 00:01

Today, I have a serious bladder problem, which causes me to frequently urinate. If I'm unable to, I get really bad cramps. To ensure I always can go, I got a note from my doctor stating I can go during class. My professor threw it away and claimed it was fake. Hello, cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 98

Bad buzz

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 10:00

Today, I went to fix my porch light. I have called maintenance multiple times about it, but I finally decided to just fix it myself. There was a wasps' nest in the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 121

Tainted

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:10 - United States - Batesville

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 468

You deserved it 42 644

By boring - 10/05/2010 10:14 - New Zealand

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 753

You deserved it 7 975

Snitch

By Cerie - 06/10/2022 16:00

Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 2 054

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 13:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 127

By sleepless - 18/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year-old man with a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 776

You deserved it 3 531

By ncjarhead - 24/04/2010 23:38 - United States

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 3 126

How to start a failed YouTube channel

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend blew half of the money we'd saved for a vacation on a fancy new camera. His reasoning? "Loads of YouTubers are quitting YouTube, there's money to be made." FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 91

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The Top

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 194

You deserved it 2 884

Today, I ran into an old friend at the grocery store and told them, "Let’s catch up soon!" We then ran into each other in every single aisle. It got awkwarder and awkwarder, and by the fifth time I was pretty sure neither of us wanted to see the other ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 146

Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 927

You deserved it 12 461

Today, I decided to clean out my closet and donate some clothes to charity. As I was carrying a heavy bag of clothes down the stairs, I tripped and fell, spilling everything everywhere. I had to start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 147

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 924

You deserved it 6 277

Today, and since 2026 started, my two friends began liking each other and I'm very happy for them. The problem? They get so close (literally and figuratively) that they do things that make me feel left out (both subjectively and objectively). Everyone says it's normal, but when I was in love I never did that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 275