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By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 15:20 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 855

You deserved it 4 689

By Oraashi - 26/06/2012 17:18 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 291

You deserved it 2 900

By Anonymous - 17/03/2013 19:09 - France - Minzier

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 374

You deserved it 4 311

By Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 931

You deserved it 1 415

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 15:33 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 017

You deserved it 5 361

By DontGetSlapped - 18/02/2013 00:24 - United States - Conway

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 550

You deserved it 2 537

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 941

You deserved it 2 136

By mareda - 01/02/2012 19:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 062

You deserved it 3 864

By oh why... - 20/12/2013 14:51 - United States

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 476

You deserved it 4 496

By mistletoe - 09/12/2013 02:21 - United States - Miami

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 978

You deserved it 5 204

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 154

You deserved it 8 334

By Username - 18/02/2011 05:19

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 481

You deserved it 4 983

By joe - 19/11/2012 03:13 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 038

You deserved it 7 010

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 10:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 912

You deserved it 2 437

By Grrrreat - 04/02/2015 15:16 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 086

You deserved it 4 930

By Anonymous - 17/01/2015 19:00 - United States - Bowler

Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 372

You deserved it 9 300

By so much for romance - 11/01/2015 03:21 - United States - Queensbury

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 720

You deserved it 4 773

By brokenrelicslost - 08/01/2010 20:06 - United States

Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I'm really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date on Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 5 850

By barista - 05/12/2010 17:36 - United States

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 973

You deserved it 3 908

By twice-a-day - 18/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 003

You deserved it 4 041

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 418

You deserved it 2 556

HOAs suck

By Slivered - 18/11/2009 09:50 - Canada

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy, which requires pet owners to carry their dogs in common areas after someone's dog kept peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 138

You deserved it 3 966

By sbutler - 14/07/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 454

You deserved it 51 307

Guinea pig

By Troy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 331

You deserved it 7 931

By Sneezy123 - 06/10/2009 02:21 - United States

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 297

You deserved it 10 169

By oh_its_true - 18/09/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 140

You deserved it 3 418

oh_its_true tells us more.

oh_its_true 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 19:47

To those who think she made it up to get out of the date...i initially thought the same thing too. so i said "listen, you dont have to make up some crappy story like you are on Jerry Springer. I am old enough to be told the truth." So then she started crying. Loudly. Which made everyone look at me like I was some jerk for making her cry. She then tells me its all true and she doesnt know what to do. I tell her maybe jail will straighten her man out and get him straight. I got up and walked out, passing the waitress who was on her way to our table with our drinks (to be fair, she ordered a coke)...i tossed around $40 on the tray and hit the door running. i later remembered that i left my gloves on the table... that is a totaly true story.