The Top

I was KINDLY telling her how it wasn't "cool" to like her own stuff. She accepted my tip with a warming smile. We have a close relationship, so it wasn't surprising that she did that. The picture wasn't too exposing. All you could see was my bottom. My friends now joke about it, so it was easy to get over it. Now my mom is the "cool mom." The worst part would have to be that she now gets more likes on her post than I do. So much for liking her own pictures.

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 945

You deserved it 61 847

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 752

You deserved it 3 434

By starflares - 03/07/2014 19:49 - Denmark - Yaound

Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 085

You deserved it 3 581

starflares tells us more.

starflares 5

Friday 4 July 2014 17:19

Thanks guys, I just sent him to the manager and he had to pay me +$30 to have the colors switched out, so not all that mad.

By dunno why we bother - 31/03/2014 20:07 - United States - Tampa

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 333

You deserved it 4 531

Content warning

By imblue42 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 601

You deserved it 3 797

Method acting

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 767

You deserved it 34 478

By clingmaster - 09/09/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 841

You deserved it 4 680

By arghhh - 03/08/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 769

You deserved it 5 700

By SuperCoolGurl - 17/12/2011 13:30 - Australia

Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 763

You deserved it 54 363

By WronglySad619 - 26/01/2011 10:31 - United States

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 970

You deserved it 28 617

By froulita - 31/10/2008 06:08 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend doesn't know if he should break up with me because he loves me too much, or to stay with me and make me suffer. I have no clue as to what's going on in his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 123

You deserved it 5 225

Wind up merchant

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 974

You deserved it 5 046

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 10 026

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 29/06/2012 22:46 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 963

You deserved it 18 515

By stillhave2years - 22/05/2013 10:56 - United States

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 356

You deserved it 3 690

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, we arrived in Scotland for our holiday, specifically because we were told it’s one of the friendliest places in the UK. First I was mugged, then my car was broken into and my laptop stolen, then we tried to at least go out for dinner and a drunk told us to, "Fuck off back to 'Curry Country'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 199

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 064

You deserved it 5 253

Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire was flat. Two hours later, some of my friends came in and said something along the lines that, "We should do brunch every Saturday, (like this morning) it was awesome!" in front of my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 078

You deserved it 32 529

Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 194

You deserved it 409

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 994

You deserved it 49 742

Today, I told my family that I'm on probation at work. I help my family out financially, working in a field that they pressured me to pursue. Because they are aggressive, they asked if it was because I fought with someone at work. I told them it was because my boss says I'm too soft. Their response? "He's right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 185