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I'm the OP, and I'm glad this got published! For those wondering, it is a fake tree. And it was actually because of my laziness that I had her take it down because I never got around to it. That is when she came up with her "brilliant" idea to cover it with Valentine's Day decorations, which my parents did not seem too impressed with haha.

Definitely memorable

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 831

You deserved it 55 093

Yikes

By Charles Pennington - 22/11/2011 11:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 893

You deserved it 3 375

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 401

You deserved it 3 466

Lil' cutie

By pitytitty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 812

You deserved it 7 348

WTF is this fresh hell?

By swag papi - 22/01/2016 05:47 - Australia - Perth

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 037

You deserved it 8 378

Gene Simmons approves this FML

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 12 217

By whymegirl - 22/07/2012 04:24 - United States - Worcester

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 069

You deserved it 8 602

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 10:03 - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 893

You deserved it 41 417

Tasty snack ideas

By Stellarum - 18/08/2014 15:13 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 646

You deserved it 4 231

Grounded

By cock sauce - 09/06/2012 21:15 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 389

You deserved it 29 681

By Jack00412 - 08/07/2014 19:55 - United States - Montague

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year-old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 321

You deserved it 5 542

By leahneedssleep - 11/07/2011 10:53 - Canada

Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 533

You deserved it 6 748

Suckerpunched

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 139

You deserved it 3 175

By nopleasestopmother - 02/05/2014 23:03 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 679

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 758

You deserved it 3 425

By great_just_great - 24/02/2013 05:48 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 904

You deserved it 5 899

great_just_great tells us more.

great_just_great 22

Wednesday 17 July 2013 2:52

Hey everyone.. Just to let you know, he's 36 and I'm 29. I moved in for about two weeks but found I couldn't handle it. We've broken up and to be honest, I'm kind of glad this all happened; it helped me work out that he was all wrong for me.

By the forgotten one - 30/01/2012 03:01 - United States

Today, my grandfather sent everyone in my family an email thanking them for the photo we got him. I'd bought the frame, edited the picture, and delivered it to him. All everyone else did was show up and complain while the picture was being taken. I'm the only one who didn't get a thank you email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 060

You deserved it 2 335