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guys I wrote this FML... to clear some things up... I was working at a fast food restaurant, not a real restaurant(not fancy and all that). So I was behind the counter and couldn't go out to look at what had happened to the dumb moron that kept asking for napkins. Then my boss came out and told me to go and check, when i went to the table, that lady saw me, took her kid, and RAN theough the door. Then I told my boss what had happened and he told me to go and clean it. SAdly, I couldnt find that moron that did that, but if i ever see her, shes gonna get it! #103-104: jeje :D

Cool prank bro

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 11:02 - United States

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 775

You deserved it 3 570

Good boy

By macattack - 02/09/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 4 768

By Elmoo - 01/06/2012 01:20 - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 589

You deserved it 1 957

By penny-dropping - 16/04/2012 04:24 - United States

Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 431

You deserved it 3 148

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 805

You deserved it 9 596

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 22:26 - Russian Federation - Korol

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 482

You deserved it 22 544

By Anon - 15/05/2015 13:58 - United States - Lakeville

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 213

You deserved it 4 066

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 3 927

By allocomrade - 29/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 720

You deserved it 3 265

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 295

You deserved it 57 233

By abc - 27/05/2009 10:15 - Pakistan

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 450

You deserved it 5 370

By Rage - 08/10/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 933

You deserved it 4 510

Asshole

By WetWalking - 21/03/2013 13:31 - United States - Tyler

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 218

You deserved it 3 766

By It's CSI Miami - 24/06/2015 04:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got into a fight with my mom because she believes that my fiancé is "irresponsible" and "immature". I stormed out and drove back home. There, I walked in on my fiancé and his friends. They were in a heated and almost violent argument over which CSI is the best. The wedding's next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 701

You deserved it 6 327

Not now, Dave

By randomdude3890 - 11/02/2015 04:58 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 345

You deserved it 38 165

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 526

You deserved it 3 601

Get back here

By justhereforlaughs - 12/09/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 089

You deserved it 11 107

By Paul - 08/08/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 453

You deserved it 2 932

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 228

You deserved it 53 495

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 950

You deserved it 10 143

Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 434

Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 349

You deserved it 4 627

Today, my girlfriend was flummoxed as to why someone named Renny would be texting her at 1 a.m. Funny, because she used to have “Renny” tattooed on her ass when we met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 194

Today, it's my ninth day off work. I should have been back 4 days ago, but whilst resting a swollen knee at home, I got a hair stuck in my eye so badly that I had to go to A&E at 4 a.m. to get it taken out. Now work won't let me come back until the resulting conjunctivitis clears up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 140