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I always cut my own bangs and they always look good, this time I just tried something new and watched a YouTube video and the girls hair looked amazing, but I just wasn't paying attention to how much I pulled forward, which I usually do, and ended up cutting off more than I should have. I don't regret doing it. Hair grows back and I'm not too worried.

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 2 038

By flowerging - 11/04/2013 04:53 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 517

You deserved it 16 280

By burnmyeyes - 19/04/2014 21:26 - United States - Richmond

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 406

You deserved it 5 335

By anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:13 - United States

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 034

You deserved it 3 583

Get counting

By Ethan_18 - 14/12/2012 05:10 - United States

Today, as my 12-hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 048

You deserved it 2 513

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 21:40 - United States - Blain

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 401

You deserved it 3 122

By mattrd - 08/10/2013 21:04 - United States - Lititz

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 726

You deserved it 6 246

mattrd_fml tells us more.

mattrd_fml 31

Wednesday 9 October 2013 16:16

OP here! First off, for all the people inquiring about what the costume is, it is a plush dinosaur that his legs go into and his upper half sticks out of it. You can see a picture of it if you search "dinosaur" at costume express. And the issue isnt that he loves the costume, in fact he hated putting it on at first. The issue is that he wants candy and he wants candy RIGHT NOW. Thanks for all the suggestions. But now that a day has gone by, the costume is in a closet and he seems to have forgotten all about it.

By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 05:05 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 208

You deserved it 2 856

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 668

You deserved it 3 562

By cutup - 11/07/2012 17:54 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 533

You deserved it 6 437

By Username - 20/08/2011 09:20 - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 493

You deserved it 2 681

Unfinished Somniloquy

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 23:17 - United States

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 367

You deserved it 25 979

That's how I roll

By StellaSanguina - 09/10/2009 03:17 - United States

Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 421

You deserved it 6 782

By Anonymous - 11/05/2010 15:04 - Netherlands

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 786

You deserved it 5 720

Sensitive

By airbiscuit - 21/01/2013 12:36 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 145

You deserved it 6 512

I like what I like

By Aled - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 128

You deserved it 3 378

Jilting John

By Loveless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248 968

You deserved it 15 497

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 528

You deserved it 46 868

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 729

You deserved it 2 778

By pittman137 - 30/07/2013 16:29 - United States - Nampa

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 778

You deserved it 7 968

pittman137 tells us more.

pittman137 5

Wednesday 31 July 2013 19:58

OP here. Different username since I didn't have an account when I wrote this. Just thought I'd do a little follow up. As far as the no receipt thing, yea, I know, shame on me. I'm getting more work done on an existing tattoo and this is the place where I had started at, so I didn't think much of it. This particular shop is known for how great the artists there are, so it is worth the six month wait (to me at least). It ends up the guy I had made the appointment with had quit the shop and taken his appointment book with him, so they had to way to contact me about it and apparently he isn't as professional as I thought since he didn't contact me either to let me know he moved shops. The shop itself was able to move some things around and I'm still able to get my work done at my time, just with a new artist so everything has worked out. Thanks for all the comments!