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Oh no I love the comments. You. Guys are actually kinda making me feel a little better. And I love the creativity!! I'm sorry for ruining my eyebrows but I'm not a Prick tyvm. Btw, I have school tomorrow....I can just imagine the round nicknames I'll get......-_-'

By Brett meek - 19/02/2010 07:41 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 639

You deserved it 3 648

Not bothered

By Username - 08/02/2011 16:57 - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M&M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 890

You deserved it 15 355

By CassieMarieee - 10/12/2011 06:28 - United States

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 8 842

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 06:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 043

You deserved it 52 968

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 08:04 - Canada

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 664

You deserved it 8 371

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 22:38 - United States

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 106

You deserved it 5 279

Not funny, guys

By livgasms - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be "funny as hell" to watch me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 288

You deserved it 5 224

By prdp - 05/06/2013 16:33 - United States

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 703

You deserved it 4 711

prdp tells us more.

prdp 7

Thursday 6 June 2013 5:08

Thanks for your nice comments! I kind of knew it would come eventually, because 3 generations of my family have consistently had carpal tunnel, but it was intensified by my piano playing (and especially the fast music I tend to choose to compensate for my inability to reach larger chords) and made the symptoms appear at a much earlier age than any of my relatives. Luckily, I'm not JUST a pianist! I'm also an extremely avid concert and marching brass player (a female brass player? Who knew they exist?) who plans to audition for drum corps in the very near future. Classical (though I also play some jazz) piano and band are my true loves, and I know I won't stop playing piano anytime soon, nor will I stop my other instruments. :)

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 362

You deserved it 15 869

By GAGirl1 - 01/05/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 061

You deserved it 7 233

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 27/03/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 456

You deserved it 6 444

By nolovefor21 - 16/01/2014 11:45 - Australia - Wentworthville

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 586

You deserved it 20 549

nolovefor21 tells us more.

nolovefor21 1

Friday 17 January 2014 3:43

OP here, I didnt "hack" into her account really, I asked her if I could use her account to try and plan myself a surprise party.. Mainly because Ive always wanted one but never had anyone step up to do it. She gave me her password so I could do it. But apparently that was a waste of time according to my mother...

By ShelterForTheHomless - 14/01/2014 03:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 642

You deserved it 5 895