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It's a coup!

By everythingWASperfect - 13/11/2010 14:43 - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 320

You deserved it 4 394

Road rage

By Broke - 28/05/2012 09:38 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 128

You deserved it 3 417

Sebummer

By ewwww - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 883

You deserved it 3 465

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 045

You deserved it 27 185

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:49 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 023

You deserved it 7 001

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 459

You deserved it 4 068

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 524

You deserved it 5 491

By lababy - 15/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 803

You deserved it 21 188

By loser - 03/01/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 500

You deserved it 67 685

By Shoes - 12/06/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 178

You deserved it 4 236

By cockblocked - 11/05/2012 18:29 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 915

You deserved it 23 972

Vacation in Hell

By misc - 08/06/2011 17:52 - Netherlands

Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 830

You deserved it 7 254

By wellhellothere - 17/04/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 3 323

By MrZhang - 23/06/2009 03:34 - Australia

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 429

You deserved it 26 539

By Anonymous - 12/08/2011 00:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 750

You deserved it 3 438

By I_Hate_Cars - 15/04/2009 14:10 - United States

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 254

You deserved it 5 855

I_Hate_Cars tells us more.

I_Hate_Cars 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 7:11

To all, thanks for your concern. Don't worry, I'm fine, it was just a bad concussion when I hit the ground that knocked me out. I hope I don't disappoint anybody, but I am not going to sue. A few years in jail ought to be enough for the driver- it was a drunk. Luckily, there was a black and white across the street and got the driver in time. Again, thank you all for your concerns.

Ransomware

By Anonymous - 25/04/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 504

You deserved it 26 773

By Anonymous - 29/04/2012 09:45 - Canada - Thompson

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 344

You deserved it 22 285

Gym bro

By kaplwv116 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 071

You deserved it 41 280

By anikah - 01/06/2014 21:53 - United States - Natchitoches

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 779

You deserved it 5 641

By Anonymous - 18/04/2012 07:18 - United States - Salinas

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 993

You deserved it 21 767

By naesha - 17/03/2014 01:40 - United States - Jackson

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 738

You deserved it 3 934

naesha tells us more.

naesha 13

Monday 17 March 2014 14:45

hey guys. Thanks for the positive comments. I guess she dididn't didn't realize I was his wife. Ib had twin a month ago and I brought them to the office. Here is when she sit down and decided to play with the boys. She went on to tell me about the affair & that shit is expecting. as for what I done I got up and left. I'm currently packing as I type.

By daniel55 - 18/02/2013 00:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 412

You deserved it 5 873

By Anonymous - 23/04/2015 13:16 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 062

You deserved it 7 040

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 494

You deserved it 2 863

By TallGal - 14/09/2012 08:26 - United States - Tucson

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 854

You deserved it 14 332

By 30Jenna - 13/07/2011 22:01 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 773

You deserved it 6 317

By Anonymous - 18/08/2010 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 14 645

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could retake a test. I thought I'd texted back, "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 014

You deserved it 26 651

By insearch4i - 22/01/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 872

You deserved it 31 181

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 345

You deserved it 11 511

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 062

You deserved it 6 613

Today, I found out I have bed bugs, thanks to my dad having them and not telling me, so my girlfriend got pissed at me, thinking I purposely give them to her, and is sending me a bill to have her house treated for them. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 107

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 5 553

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 166

You deserved it 5 001

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 589

You deserved it 1 780