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Rough

By aarone23 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 4 161

By Estee1024 - 24/01/2014 05:28 - United States - San Luis Obispo

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 47 995

You deserved it 5 636

By Ellen - 26/02/2010 19:58 - Norway

Today, I was browsing a website where you can talk to strangers anonymously, when I met a guy I really hit it off with. After talking for two hours, we decided to keep in touch, just in time for me to hit the "Next Person" button by mistake. There's no way to undo it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 467

You deserved it 30 279

By Anonymous - 05/08/2012 05:33 - United States - Mahwah

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 495

You deserved it 6 640

By Spike - 29/03/2011 18:08 - United States

Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 204

You deserved it 3 221

By thatCanadianGuy7 - 29/06/2009 19:55 - Canada

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 990

You deserved it 5 056

Forgetful

By kiddoc - 26/10/2011 02:28 - United States

Today, I was happily playing with my young niece and nephew. Their grandmother was watching and said, "You are so good with children! Why don't you have any?" My husband died 3 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 023

You deserved it 2 888

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 755

You deserved it 42 689

By AJShow80 - 13/04/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money, saying it was collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then used his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and won 500 dollars. The jackass wouldn't split it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 311

You deserved it 18 249

By sadcapri96 - 23/06/2011 21:40 - United States

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 47 294

By oface13 - 16/04/2012 08:12 - United States

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 370

You deserved it 5 975

By malos - 12/08/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 393

You deserved it 47 586

By mydadsawsooomuch - 17/11/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 183

You deserved it 9 837

By jillie minaj - 09/07/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 102

You deserved it 61 318

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 763

You deserved it 45 225

By Anonymous - 19/03/2010 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 22 218

By brittbrat4 - 13/08/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 321

You deserved it 36 662

By ewhy - 23/04/2014 18:37 - United States - Merced

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 306

You deserved it 8 872

ewhy tells us more.

ewhy 9

Thursday 24 April 2014 3:22

Hey guys ! OP here. To the people that say he might not be that bad: I'm sorry but I wouldn't be able to keep talking to a person that has a foot fettish, call me shallow but I'm not only about looks. He's cute and all but I wouldn't be able to get past it. I gave him my number exactly to get to know him, this was yesterday. This morning he started with the pictures of toes. The only reason he started with pictures of toes is because he saw my feet in a picture I had sent of the jeans I was wearing earlier. I just stopped texting him, wish me the best! Thanks for the feedback!!

By Anonymous - 22/05/2015 15:17 - United States

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 3 187