FML - The Follow-Up

Hey all! OP here. A longer version of the story... I was on a first date when I saw a man at another table panic, get up from his table, and start running toward the back. I was taught this is a common sign of someone choking, so I went after him without thinking (my poor date!). I caught him right before the bathrooms and had him calm enough for a moment to dislodge the lobster. He was very thankful at the time. Around twenty minutes later when his table got the bill, he made a special trip over to my table to get in my face and started yelling about how I cost him this otherworldly amount of money because he couldn't get that lobster back. I had considered opening my purse and pulling out some monopoly money to pay for his meal (yes, I keep monopoly money on me), but I thought that might have been a little cruel or in poor taste, so I simply stared at him until he walked away. My date and I laughed about it for the rest of dinner, and it's definitely a tale getting added to my arsenal of stories. No harm done!

Hey you guys it's OP. Reading some of the comments have made me laugh a lot! But allow me to shed some light on the situation. So I was just entering into my third week of working at Mc Donald's when this happened. An old woman noticed the two teens go into the play structure and reported it to us. We have a strict policy that children over the age of twelve aren't allowed into the play place. Part of that reason is due to size. Anyways after trying to convince the kids to come out my manager told me to go up there and get them out. I could barely fit into the structure but they came out shortly after. It ended with both of them being banned from that restaurant and their parents being called to pick them up. I'm only working there part time because I am a student but I hope I don't have to do anything too crazy like this again.

Hey all. I'll fill you in so you guys can sleep peacefully at night. My brother came home from lunch and was in a rush to head out back. His remote for the garage door wasn't working so he left it open. That's when the pigeon walked in. He called me to let me know and to close the door. I stepped out and I heard what sounded like a bird flapping like crazy. I checked around and I saw the bird's foot stuck on the trap. I had no idea these traps were set (they were under the space of the shelves we have all around) but I fit the pieces together seeing how we had mice problems a while back. I put on some gardening gloves to hold it while soaking the foot with warm water. He moved a little bit more to the point his bottom half body THEN got stuck. I ended up calling the vet and explaining the situation to them to see what they could do or anything else I could do. After the awkward silence, they told me I could bring it in for them to sedate and see what they could do themselves. If nothing worked then they would have to euthanize it. Feeling bad for the little guy I was getting ready to drive there when I remembered we had Goo Gone. I poured a lot on the trap and he managed to get off! He just walked out the garage door and I assume he flew away. I didn't follow it but haven't seen handicapped bird around here haha. Birds like to bathe and it's been cloudy and rainy here in Vegas so I'm hoping he managed to rinse everything off. :)

Hey guys! Just thought I'd explain since I couldn't fit the whole story into the FML. The woman had come into the restaurant about three months ago with two other ladies. I hadn't been up front at first and she was initially talking to another hostess. The first host tried to sit her at a table, at which point the woman said she wanted a booth. I joined the conversation at this point and stated we had a booth in Ryan's section. The woman exclaimed "Oh! Ryan!" She seemed excited so I said, "Yes, do you like Ryan? I can give you one of his tables." The woman said "Oh no, I have no idea who Ryan is. I've never been here before." I said "Oh, okay then. I'll sit you with Robert. Wait no, Robert just got a table. Let's go to Rachel." I took her to the table, asked if it was alright and she said it was fine. Thinking everything was okay I left. Halfway through her meal I see my manager at the table apologizing profusely. Once he left he asked me what the hell I did to the woman. Apparently she told her server that I tried to seat her at a table, refused to let her sit with Ryan and Robert, and forced her to sit here. She called me a twit, told her server she felt bad because Ryan and Robert were missing out on the huge tip she was going to give them, and that I don't know how to do my job. Since that day she has written to corporate saying that I am condescending, speak to my co-workers inappropriately, and need to be retrained. Yesterday was the first time she actually got in my face about it, and I was so stunned all I could say was "I'm sorry." I'm not trying to make myself out to be the model employee but this lady seems to have a personal vendetta against me. My managers have been understanding about it and I'm just hoping that with time she'll stop harassing me!

I was demoted from part time to causal part time, which requires that I work less then 20 hours a week. And I only get commission if I go over my goal.

Ugh, pour little me was just going about the daily grind, and now you're all making a mochary of my misfortune?!

You are right, but this pic is me. I felt bad so I changed it, I hope You guys don't think any less of me.

Yeah haha I did feel pretty silly. My phone is one of those old ones that you flip open and it has a keyboard, so to my memory the inner screen didn't have a protector. The one over the camera was very flush to the lens so it didn't bubble or anything and looked perfectly normal, I thought it was just a shit camera since it was an old model of phone. I wouldn't have found it if my nail hadn't caught the corner when I was putting it in my pocket and pulled it up some. The worst part was as #3 said, since it was actually my birthday party and my boyfriend and all my family were there to witness the look of stunned realization on my face, followed by my announcement that I was, in fact, an idiot. Oh well, at least I have a decent camera now!

OP here--I'm quite happy with my life otherwise; I have great family, a place to live and food to eat, a job I really like. I'm just very lonely. However, in my experience with dating sites, I get very frustrated because many of the dates go nowhere (because of many different reasons, many of them objectively pertaining to the other party). I do not go out to bars/clubs, and even though I have a number of activities outside the house, they are majority female (kickboxing, walking group, female friends that don't know a lot of single males, etc). I feel like I'm really missing that special someone in my life, and want to do all I can to find him, but "dating" is just making me feel worse and worse about myself (over multiple years). So literally, I have no other choice that to be unhappy (in this area) and alone, or be horribly uncomfortable on dates with strangers (which are indeed few and far between to begin with). So **** all of you for saying i deserve it. maybe with some background you'll understand that character limitations don't show the whole story.

OP here. Thank you all for the hillarious comments. I had seen him without a beard before of course, but he has recently lost some weight and turns out it changed his features a bit.

It's okay you guys, I got it all sorted out not too long after I submitted this FML. My little sister got in trouble and I received more time on my essay which I passed so everything turned out great on this one. ^__^

This is my FML :') basically we have a huge box of Christmas decorations up there, but there's hardly any floorboards and they have been put on the spongy floor, and something has moved up there so this box keeps going off, waiting for someone to move it or at least try and get the box out.

OP here! Thanks for the funny comments! This actually happened a couple of years ago - it was my first tatt and was only told to rub it regularly with savlon until it healed, and to sleep on my stomach. I ended up jumping in the shower and soaked the duvet to peel off slowly. As seen from my profile pic it wasn't damaged in the end and turned out pretty damn sweet!

Can't believe I got published on my first submit!!! Made an account just to comment back haha. First of all, wow, thanks for all the support :) and no, there will be no second date! Also yes, I am a girl lol, and dragging him out wasn't really that hard.

Wow, this got published! To give a little background, my mom had been telling me for years that she would pay for my first two years of college, though she's a fickle woman, so I kept a backup plan. When she withdrew the offer, I accepted the situation gracefully, and am now taking a gap year, working 77 hours a week, so I won't have to depend on her. Any resentment over the money is over the week's notice I was given, which even still makes me worry about her financial situation more so than my own. That she wants even the gift back does bother me a little, but I by no means expected her to pay my way through life, and am very much financially independent. Thanks much to the many of you who understood!

I didn't have enough room to elaborate on my post. it was spur of the moment on my part too. boyfriend is in the oilfield and they needed him up and moved ASAP. so she new a week after I knew. I just needed a week for it to set in.

Hey guys! OP here to shed light on the situation. Homecoming is this weekend and my girlfriend, mother and I were out getting the final vest and tie to finish off my attire, so I can match my girlfriend's dress. Then my mom said that. She isn't ignorant, a bigot, or anything of the sort. She was joking around and said it proudly. She went on to say that "if you're in the store buying face cream to stay smooth or whatever it is, he's right there with you to look good too" Which has an element of truth in it. I try to look good and keep myself hygienic and it pays off. It's also a bit of curiosity to be honest too! There's so many things for girls!! Anyway, my girlfriend laughed with her, and yes that's probably one of the reasons she's with me. Hope you all enjoyed!

I was watching a tv series on my tablet...after one episode (45 minutes) I looked on Google maps to see how far I had got and that's when I realised! It was a cross country train and the next station was 60 miles from where I got on the train. A place called Darlington. If I had stayed on the train all the way I would have ended up on Edinburgh!

Yeah for me too... my reaction was taking the biggest kitchen knife, locking the door and looking for that bastard... for the moment i thought i was capable of killing someone... it scares me.. didn't know i was capable of even thinking like this :0

Yep, didn't cramp and so dropped two minutes off my run.

The project we are working on is a video. So far it looks like something we would have done in high school. He thinks that a screenshot means taking a picture of the screen. I should probably take your advice and do most of it on my own but make sure he feels like he contributed ;)

Umm...yeah, so she wasn't suffocating at all, this is just her own particular brand of crazy. She's a rescue and she's terrified of EVERYTHING. There was a loud noise next door that spooked her so evidently she decided that she needed to hide...as though she wasn't hidden enough already. The best part for me was when she tried to tunnel her way back in about 5 minutes later. Couldn't help laughing!

OP here, I do turn the TV on too sometimes just for the noise and to pretend that there's a miniature party going on in the room next to me and I just can't see the people or whatever. It's actually not that bad. My parents are very busy people so they aren't home most of the time, and my girlfriend generally is volunteering at all these places. So I have a lot of time to be alone and do nothing xD

I knocked on the door again and she yelled for me to go away saying she didn't want to buy anything. At this point I understood what was going on. As it turns out, for the past couple days she's been getting salesmen knock on her door and try to sell her something. We talked it out and is clarified that I was actually her new neighbour an not someone trying to sell her something. In the end everything turned out alright and she actually brought me fresh baked cookies later on. They were good. Anyways just wanted to clear up that it was a misunderstanding and she didn't mean any harm.

It was really offensive for her to say something like that. My mom and grandfather and boyfriend were in the room too, which made it even more humiliating. I didn't know what to say, I was in shock. My boyfriend led her out of the room, so the visit ended right then and there. I haven't seen or spoken to her since, and she hasn't seen her grand child either. I'm still working on an awesome comeback speech, I'm open to suggestions!

OP here :) So just a little background: I was in fact using spray cans of paint so I was doing it in the driveway because I didn't want to damage the grass in my backyard. The little kid comes over when I turn my back for two seconds and annihilates it. His mom just laughed when I told her ugh :( Fortunately, although the project was due today, I got an extension from my super cool teacher :)

Hey guys. OP here. Everyone's asking if I finished the chair. I did, but not for several hours. My old chair I was using was barely functional and leaned to one side causing me a lot of pain. I casually mentioned that my back hurt to my boss. The next day when I came into the office I found a box with a new chair was waiting at my desk. Since I am the sole employee of this business and was alone, I had to put it together myself. I threw out my back lifting up one of the parts of the chair. It wasn't even heavy, it was just awkward removing it from the box. My boss was running late and came into work 2 hours later to find me laying on the floor with the half constructed chair next to me. I'm doing okay now. The chair is actually helping.

First of all, I am so excited that this got posted! Almost makes dating the jerk worth it! Also, all the comments are hilarious. To answer some questions, no, I most definitely am not pregnant. There wasn't even a scare. On the backstory, he wasn't *technically* my boyfriend, but we had been dating and things were going really great. He did all the right things and we had a great connection (or so I thought). So after a while we slept together, and enjoyment was had on both sides. Nothing seemed off for a few days, and then he gradually quit texting me and I never saw him again after that night. Live and learn, I suppose.

It's not like it's something I just decided was a symtom. It was my psychiatrists opinion/word that it was. They now want me to do further testing. its just disheartening to know that I could lose my job over this.