When you run out of kibble... By FML Approved - 19/10/2017 20:30 Say it isn't so! I agree, your life sucks 429 You deserved it 101 Share Tweet Share
Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 275 You deserved it 16 316
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 2 803
Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 411 You deserved it 2 579
Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 327 You deserved it 4 732
Today, a woman in an SUV rolled a stop sign and hit me, resulting in simultaneously twisting my foot in my bike and being knocked into oncoming traffic. Her excuse before I went to the ER? The sun was in her eyes. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 715 You deserved it 158
Today, I lost my dream house because my mortgage advisor, who I literally paid to take care of the complicated legal stuff, fucked up at every stage until the seller just sold it to someone else. My advisor admitted I'm his first customer, and that he didn’t think it would be this hard. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 242 You deserved it 155
Did not expect that.