When there is edible food in my fridge By Lewis - 18/12/2018 18:00 Actually, it never happens... I agree, your life sucks 258 You deserved it 84 Share Tweet Share
Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 048 You deserved it 4 440
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML I agree, your life sucks 62 577 You deserved it 12 432
Today, I got to wake up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "U got competition." FML I agree, your life sucks 2 064 You deserved it 200
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 590 You deserved it 5 480
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 961 You deserved it 2 623
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 018 You deserved it 277
Calm yourself!
I’ll just grab a quick snack & no one will ever know...