Intimacy: Whaaaaat?

Whaaaaat?

By erphy21 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lompoc

Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 6 398

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 16:09 - Norway - Egersund

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 330

You deserved it 6 072

By fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 900

You deserved it 17 025

Bad grandparenting

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 14:15 - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 798

You deserved it 2 883

By Erica - 09/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 572

You deserved it 710

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 120

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 872

You deserved it 6 594

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 1 189

She'll learn

By alyssa - 01/04/2021 21:30

Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 1 459

By bummed - 04/11/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 215

You deserved it 16 659

zharks1010 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 15:29

Your son is a dumbass

pokemyeyes 23

Sunday 27 September 2015 15:30

#facepalm

Comments

fmlrulesBolt 14

Monday 28 September 2015 8:18

What the? What nonsense!! He should not be able to breed

mwali02 32

Monday 28 September 2015 8:31

Should we be congratulating you for being a soon to be grandparent?

Zebediabolical 40

Monday 28 September 2015 9:51

If only comprehensive and factually accurate sex ed were mandatory in the schooling system...

jenninyc1128 17

Monday 28 September 2015 15:44

Sex Ed has really been going downhill oh man..

remometol 16

Monday 28 September 2015 19:47

Oh god, it's multiplying

iadtgrad07 6

Monday 28 September 2015 23:37

your fault. maybe you should've given him the talk a long time ago...

cynthianicole95 9

Monday 28 September 2015 23:44

I'm voting YDI because he should have been educated on this subject.

quazimozart 19

Tuesday 29 September 2015 4:22

Morning after pill?

Mpii 11

Tuesday 29 September 2015 14:40

Did he learn it the hard way???

DavidKnows 11

Tuesday 29 September 2015 16:12

And STILL some parents believe sex education should not be taught in schools.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 37

Today, while borrowing my girlfriend's dad's truck, I had to pay $120 to prevent it from being towed. I was parked right in front of my apartment unloading heavy furniture into my garage for not even 20 minutes while the apartment manager, who called the tow truck, watched us from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 647

You deserved it 193

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 823

You deserved it 12 978

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 168

You deserved it 1 300

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 176

You deserved it 54 791

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 507

You deserved it 6 936