Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 466 You deserved it 90 Share Tweet Share
Today, my knee was dislocated. At a haunted house. By a midget. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 662 You deserved it 310
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 987 You deserved it 29 875
Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 266 You deserved it 6 996
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 696 You deserved it 5 826
Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 718 You deserved it 6 831
Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML I agree, your life sucks 66 051 You deserved it 3 805
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.