Miscellaneous Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu... - FML

oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Panic!

Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

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combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

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Denial

Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

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oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

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Shyness alert

Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

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dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

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fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

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tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

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Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

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fartwoman - 23/06/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

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splat_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:53

Today, when I was out to go for a romantic diner with my girlfriend, a waitress came up to us. Right before she was going to give us the menu, she farted really loud. I felt my hair blowing in the wind. FML.

24788 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

That's what I call giving your customers a little extra. Even though it's a horrible gift!

grazynaanka 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:07

hahahaha that's funny.

robotiick 12

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:21

lol when I read tht she bent down I thought it was gunna say tht they could see her thong lol I was wrong

crudeandrudeguy 29

Friday 25 December 2015 1:18

Just turn around and say may I recommend the tacos...

jessicasquash 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:10

whooooops

ollievah 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

hahaha niceeee.

Aelaena 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

HAHAH how embarassing

24788 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

That's what I call giving your customers a little extra. Even though it's a horrible gift!

Dukedj 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:17

Lol. Did they all start coughing and gagging?

FPsLife 5

Monday 18 May 2009 12:20

Hawt

biancagolden 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:27

did you get a hefty tip?

sevich 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:40

This FML stinks

splat_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:53

Today, when I was out to go for a romantic diner with my girlfriend, a waitress came up to us. Right before she was going to give us the menu, she farted really loud. I felt my hair blowing in the wind. FML.

KingKralj 31

Saturday 9 July 2016 23:32

"I felt my hair blowing in the wind" You sir, win FML

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Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I managed to shave a single stripe out of the right side of my beard before the trimmer sparked and caught fire. I have a job interview in twenty minutes. FML

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Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

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Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML

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Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

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Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

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Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML

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