Miscellaneous Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My...

Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

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Prankster

longlostkid556 - - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

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Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

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CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

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Awful line of inquiry

teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

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maddiee. - 21/10/2010 15:20 - Indonesia

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

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Couch action

Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

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Chubby life

- 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

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oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

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Some Girl - 08/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

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24788 6

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:10

It's your dads job to make sure your never having sex in your life.

corndog45 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:02

lol i am sorry

corndog45 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:02

lol i am sorry

corndog45 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:09

why are people so mean to put ydi? this is obiviously fml beacuase she didn't deserve the embarassment of that so why are people putting ydi?

ashtc 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:15

No one has put YDI for this.

roflmaonade 2

Monday 28 December 2009 8:41

conscious-and-not-random-whatsoever-cockblock ftl.

fawfulster 11

Monday 28 December 2009 23:19

Why is it FTL. Maybe you meant to say "FTF".

24788 6

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:10

It's your dads job to make sure your never having sex in your life.

VitamiX 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:29

whoa there bit prejudiced? and i agree completely with number 3, unless you're actually a guy

busters 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:40

THIS IS SO FAKE! look at the two above it! both from washington one is 1 hour apart the other is 1 minute also look at the names it's all one worded adjectives.