Love: Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2011 23:53 - United States

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

agreeclassic 11 953

vote type 1 99 383

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The truth will set you free

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By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

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Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

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By Just_do_it_17 - 09/05/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML

agreeclassic 41 038

vote type 1 8 074

lovelikewoe 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:27

well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.

cheesenuggrt 5

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:27

YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.

Comments

jazzybaby179 22

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:22

you totally deserve that dumbass

BAVFDFirefighter 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:27

ydi for braggin bout crap you didn't do... that's why you tell the truth... then you ain't screwin nothin up retard

chippa 24

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:28

I hate to say it, but... your life is, indeed, not ******.

masterskywalker 2

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:32

Dont brag next time bro. problem solved.YDI

kingscoob 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:36

i feel ur pain on that!

syk900 3

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:40

no one likes a bragger

Mxpxdude189 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 6:13

that's what you get for being a douche

sandybaybe 3

Sunday 24 July 2011 6:20

ydi bigtime..

dolphingirl00 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 6:22

that's what you get for lying dummy!

Calibobaliee 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 6:22

Name and age ;) lol jkjk! That sux!

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Top

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

agreeclassic 15 278

vote type 1 48 831

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

agreeclassic 25 216

vote type 1 3 656

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

agreeclassic 57 947

vote type 1 8 424

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

agreeclassic 32 895

vote type 1 2 428

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

agreeclassic 56 095

vote type 1 25 639

Today, the guy I was hopelessly crushing on 4 years ago who told me, and I quote, “I’d rather stab my dick with pins & needles and dip it in lemon juice than go out with Miss Piggy.” is now saying, “Wow, hun you look great! You know, I always liked you, can we give it another shot?” I’ve lost 65 pounds. FML

agreeclassic 829

vote type 1 222