Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'....

By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 597

You deserved it 5 613

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Same thing different taste

By LOTRfail - 27/07/2012 02:13 - United States - Malden

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 342

You deserved it 4 082

Weird flex, but OK

By mrwilly - 02/01/2015 03:22 - United States - Corona

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 4 905

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 450

You deserved it 2 514

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 820

You deserved it 4 782

Intricate design

By Anonymous - 24/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Rockford

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 133

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 219

You deserved it 9 747

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 525

You deserved it 11 081

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 381

You deserved it 4 930

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 04:09 - United States - Aston

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 668

You deserved it 5 655

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 906

You deserved it 53 409

dogpup4 23

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:15

This really doesn't seem as bad when you don't misread boyfriend as brother. Like I did.

ilovetylerseguin 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:15

he's a keeper

Comments

ninjabunny56 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 2:40

I would be a little creeped out but atleast he gots humor

grad2012 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 2:49

pics or it didnt happen

taytaysauce 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 3:00

You found it funny right ?

corypoops 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 3:14

You deserved it for dating a guy with foreskin

chitown23 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 3:53

Gross your boyfriend has an ant eater

ive4g10how2fly 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:00

Ew! Who isn't circumcised?!

Incogneterpeter 1

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:01

This is probably the funniest penis story I have ever heard

viperxcity 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:05

Hahahahahahahahahahah

djmacncheeze 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:13

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

tHEkAYjAy 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:17

Lmfao!!

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The Top

Today, I had a teaching job interview. After giving my demo lesson, I was told by the director that I had given it on the wrong topic. Turns out, I never got the e-mail with the instructions for the interview. Now I'm definitely not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 335

Today, on the train home, two drunk guys decided to sit next to me and make casual conversation. This was fine until one decided to take a drink from his beer. While he did, he sneezed in my face. I still smell like beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 602

You deserved it 2 979

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 3 719

Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 52

Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 872

Today, I had to wash my cat. Twice. The first time was because he decided to roll over in the litter tray after using it. The second was the result of him pissing on the floor, then rolling in it right after I'd dried him from the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 271