Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in...

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 380

You deserved it 5 215

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Same thing different taste

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 581

You deserved it 3 743

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 197

You deserved it 1 732

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 426

You deserved it 3 903

I'm awake

By meh beard - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 920

You deserved it 1 645

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 986

You deserved it 297

You absolure freak

By Frederik - 12/11/2025 03:00

Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 104

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 585

You deserved it 437

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 154

By keimA - 23/06/2019 12:30

Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 403

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 968

You deserved it 2 844

mmyoung979 14

Wednesday 8 January 2014 1:04

Jesus Christ, that's scary.

ItsMeDiegoG 8

Wednesday 8 January 2014 1:05

At least she wasn't sacrificing you to Satan.

Comments

Km1490 20

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:07

How do you know if he was baptizing you.. maybe he was making a ritual or something... sacrificing you in your sleep :p

krupa1017 18

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:19

Someone needs a new roommate.

dmoneycash 13

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:24

This is probably one of the best FML's I've ever read.

Alexeon 9

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:26

Better than doing a satanic ritual on you in your sleep I guess

awilliams44 9

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:31

don't drown

MaryPoppins88 14

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:46

Hey could be worse lol

thebestdancerz 13

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:51

That means she was trying to drown you...I'm sorry.

Robert1989 9

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:58

thank god what was the only thing he was trying to do to you in your sleep

tammylyn8821 2

Wednesday 8 January 2014 4:59

Let me guess, your room mate is member of the Church of Christ?

tvwrestler98 14

Wednesday 8 January 2014 5:33

God bless you, OP.

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