Poopoo peepee, Gross, Cute and Kids: Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the...

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

agreeclassic 33 585

vote type 1 3 453

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By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

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By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

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By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

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By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

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ediciusNJ 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

This reinforces my belief that children are not sweet, cute and good-smelling but instead nasty, disgusting-smelling carriers of filth.

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:26

haha poo face

Comments

coolsteve 0

Monday 25 January 2010 17:56

smack that kid

missey_jey 0

Monday 25 January 2010 20:55

smack her? wtf? child abuse

xlostwithoutu 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 6:35

it's NOT child abuse! Smacking or spanking a child is discipline. Punching or kicking a child... now that's illegal child abuse. Didn't ur mama ever give you a whack every now and then? Get a clue...

homemaker 0

Monday 25 January 2010 18:15

Ydi for not being able to hear her get up, don't you have a monitor. I have a 17 month old and I wake up at every noise. He is never up with out me being awake.

epic_phail 0

Monday 25 January 2010 19:46

Sounds like you are implying the OP is a bad parent. Perhaps YOU are the bad parent for being way to over protective.

mercedeslove 0

Monday 25 January 2010 20:16

thats sad, he's gunna end up being a pussy ass mamas boy

xlostwithoutu 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 6:37

I feel bad for your kid, he's gonna be into knitting and chess a little mamas boy.

Cristaderzi 0

Monday 25 January 2010 18:17

LOL at Two punishment has NO EFFECT on children!!!! So those of ya calling for punishment PLEASE get sterilized!! We have enough psychotics runnin around as is!!!

myfriend_youfail 3

Monday 25 January 2010 18:25

*winces* Why did you have to rape the exclamation point? And speaking of getting sterilized...please don't breed. Any child of yours would probably enjoy shoving question marks into their various orifices. ;)

natsaysheyyy 16

Monday 14 May 2012 18:27

How do you suppose we discipline our children without punishment...?

TrekkieGirl 0

Monday 25 January 2010 18:17

Just wow....this does not make having kids seem appealing!

im_rocking 0

Monday 25 January 2010 18:19

eewwwww...... yuk gak thu

Scorpio1989 0

Monday 25 January 2010 18:24

@29, not everyone has super sensitive hearing, ya know! I sometimes don't hear my 2 year old get up and get breakfast food out for me to make. FYL op its gross lol

Dphilipson 0

Monday 25 January 2010 18:37

I've heard this before.

tdawgheath 0

Monday 25 January 2010 19:00

I said you deserve it, cuz obviously if your kid is that dumb you're not raising it right, no matter what age.

jeniilouise 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 0:41

that's not kids being dumb, that's just - kids! and i don't think you're in a good place to say how well the OP is raising is child, having just referred to a child as 'it'.