This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By "AngryKitten" - 15/07/2018 18:40

Today, I woke up and stabbed myself in the eye with my nail. I was freaking out, but could still see and I had to pee so I went to the bathroom. Next thing I know I woke up on the bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles smelling like urine with a black eye, hurt head, and a chipped tooth. FML.
I agree, your life sucks 58
You deserved it 11