Miscellaneous Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they... - FML

Kate - 29/04/2012 15:22 - United States - Concord

Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they kept exclaiming, "Omigod! That's just like Kate!" FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

A2 - 28/06/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

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Anonymous - 11/03/2012 23:19 - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

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Anonymous - 05/06/2009 13:20 - United States

Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML

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Can it, now!

Anonymous - 02/01/2021 00:01 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I learned that I've married into a family that talks to movie characters as they’re doing stuff in the movie. Good luck hearing the dialogue now. FML

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raidered - 08/03/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

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Anonymous - 14/12/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

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Anonymous - 11/02/2012 01:06 - Canada

Today, I watched "The Vow" with my girlfriend. When the movie ended, we walked out to the theatre's lobby, and I heard her mutter, "I deserve a guy like him." FML

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Anonymous - 15/09/2012 16:11 - United States - Olathe

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

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daddyslittlegirl250 - 05/05/2009 02:41 - United States

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

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whywilson.. - 02/03/2010 01:17 - Canada

Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML

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holycrapitsjake 2

Sunday 29 April 2012 20:05

Go to a casino?

21jason 9

Sunday 29 April 2012 20:09

Omigod Kate this FML sounds just like you

grtfuldeadlovr 27

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:44

Hahahhahahhahhahahahha

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:47

Dick.

deviable 9

Monday 30 April 2012 4:10

Richard.

dogluver900 2

Monday 30 April 2012 0:18

So I'm guessing your Kate

ThatEmoVeganChic 0

Monday 30 April 2012 0:24

I'm sorry

luccmon 6

Monday 30 April 2012 0:37

So either you're just like a hot Italian girl, an uptight high end car salesman, or a card counting mathematical autistic genius. I'd say your ok in any case.

1094568 1

Monday 30 April 2012 1:25

Omigod! That's just like Kate!

groupleader 7

Monday 30 April 2012 1:43

Of course, your shorts are on the highway. Did you remind them "lights out at 11"?

nikijcchz 10

Monday 30 April 2012 3:05

Your a genius!! Go to a casino

revidffum69 22

Tuesday 1 May 2012 5:47

You're a genius too!

laurenmacias 0

Monday 30 April 2012 6:49

What a compliment

thepatty8474 10

Monday 30 April 2012 7:18

Could be worse...

Kaykay2565 9

Monday 30 April 2012 7:24

Damn you must be awesome at a casino!!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

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Today, it's been a year since completely breaking a ligament in my ankle. Since then, my feet have gotten increasingly sensitive, walking or standing for longer than ten minutes feels like I'm being stabbed, and lasts long after I sit down. I work retail and they consistently forget to give me my breaks. FML

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Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

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Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

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Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML

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Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

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