Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 228

You deserved it 2 621

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Same thing different taste

Alas, poor Tiddles

By SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 638

You deserved it 135

Panic in the sheets

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 585

You deserved it 256

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 470

You deserved it 4 540

By loveurlifejk - 28/12/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 627

You deserved it 2 134

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 066

You deserved it 3 829

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 15/08/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 232

You deserved it 42 249

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 434

You deserved it 844

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 17:57 - Denmark

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 432

You deserved it 3 276

Freakout

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 628

You deserved it 4 383

It's just windy

By m…… - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Whitley

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 691

You deserved it 2 081

lolasains 7

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:16

Smart mom you got there.

Sinamoi 18

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:19

Poor squirrel...

Comments

thantomaniac 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 9:12

Sodomized it with a splintered broomstick.

TheDog6 24

Thursday 22 December 2011 9:18

Well, if they clean their toilet regularly, it isn't terribly bad. I mean, yea it's not the best thing in the world, and I wouldn't want this to happen to me, but the water in your toilet is the same stuff that comes out of your faucet.

PandasEatYou 5

Thursday 22 December 2011 9:38

This is disturbing. If the squirrel is in pain and you want to help, call a vet or someone who can take care of it. If your going to kill a squirrel or any animal to put it out of it's suffering snap it's neck. If you can't do it don't you'll just end up hurting it more.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Thursday 22 December 2011 9:49

Ever drowned? Drowning is probably the least humane way to kill an animal. :/ cervical dislocation, decapitation, pithing, or anything else that destroys the brain stem or it's connection from the body is the humane way to do it if you don't have a way to gas it. Engine starter spray which is 70% or more ether is the best easy to buy gas for humanely ending a small animals suffering. Seriously though, a damn brick to the head would of been kinder then what this idiot woman tried. Her heart may have been in the right place. Too bad she lacked any brains for actually doing it and if she didn't know how- google it for gods sake.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Thursday 22 December 2011 9:54

Dinner? :p

moshimoshi1993 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 11:03

You know to much about killing something...

GUNZnRAIGN 6

Thursday 22 December 2011 12:29

haha man thats something my mom would do.. poor squirrel

LennyComa 39

Thursday 22 December 2011 12:45

Poor squirrel...shoulda taken if to a vet or something where they would euthanise the animal if necessary...but that is,expensive I guess...still poor squirrel

MerrikBarbarian 9

Thursday 22 December 2011 17:55

You can euthanize a squirrel or similar sized animal or smaller at home with a rag sprayed with engine starter in a jar. Stick rag in the jar, spray with engine starter fluid, quickly insert animal into jar and close lid. It will pass out in seconds, and die shortly thereafter. Engine starter uses ether mainly- the same chemical a lot of places use to kill small animals. It's very humane. Some vets won't even see wild animals because of the risk of lice, fleas and mange.