ADHD, Wanker and Intimacy: Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 06:18 - Canada

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADHD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 6 340

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Same thing different taste

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 9 054

ADHD brain

By Giggity - 04/12/2022 21:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my attention deficit has gotten so bad that I started watching Family Guy on YouTube to avoid doing any work, then ten seconds later I got bored, grabbed my phone, and looked up "sexy cartoon porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 138

By jakeeey - 18/01/2013 01:16 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 209

You deserved it 10 941

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 970

You deserved it 6 919

Love Story

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 19:59

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 1 965

Fitness for duty

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I fucked up by jacking off. I have trouble getting "in the mood" due to medication and other things, so when I do I'm excited to enjoy myself, though it often takes a while and a lot of physical effort to get there. However, in the process of getting off today, I threw out my back and my hip. I'm only 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 169

Concentrate

By why am I like this?! - 24/02/2023 04:00

Today, stress makes my ADHD skyrocket. I lost focus while rubbing one out and didn’t realize I forgot to finish while I was doing the dishes. When I went to my room to try to get the job done, I lost focus again and ended up doing laundry. Not exactly the load I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 476

One track mind

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00

Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 417

Bang one out

By exhausted without relief - 08/02/2023 14:00

Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 31/05/2011 11:21

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 786

You deserved it 69 888

perdix 29

Wednesday 21 December 2011 11:58

I thought Marge's blue pubes would help you get to the finish line.

MrHomerSimpson 11

Wednesday 21 December 2011 14:40

Don't say that about my wife.

Comments

twinmum_fml 6

Monday 26 December 2011 13:58

#156 that's so random! Funny

Funnywayz 0

Tuesday 27 December 2011 11:12

Aww.... That was a lil' mean, don't you think?

dansco 24

Wednesday 28 December 2011 8:57

And why do they have only three fingers not four?! Coz they is not real you wanker lol

claire4808 0

Tuesday 3 January 2012 4:41

Lmao adderall?:)

RelyksTerrier 2

Tuesday 3 January 2012 9:45

lol ive had the same problem

FinnTheHuman 1

Wednesday 4 January 2012 20:39

Because they were sketched on a yellow notepad

pugdug808 2

Sunday 8 January 2012 7:39

wow a lot more people do that than i though atleast im not alone on that one

G_I_N050790 1

Sunday 8 January 2012 20:02

Believe it or not the Simpsons are were made yellow intentionally as a joke when it was premiered so that people would think the colour on their tvs was off.