Intimacy: Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking...

By konichiwa - 02/11/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 928

You deserved it 34 779

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Wankers!

By Whoops - 28/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 173

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 080

You deserved it 4 637

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 687

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 16:00

Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 1 232

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 19:00

Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 877

You deserved it 412

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 192

You deserved it 6 159

Love Island is back, baby

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 103

Lil' cutie

By pitytitty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 808

You deserved it 7 348

About that "why"…

By Wtf - 15/06/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I found out that the girl I like is fucking my friend. The friend who she always said was "a disgusting sexist pig" and swore she hated. The worst part is, she's right, he's a complete dick to women. I don't know how or why he got in her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 115

Fight!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 06:00

Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 508

You deserved it 215

EffYoLife 14

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:45

well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)

EmmjayHEY 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:38

smooooooth

Comments

k1w1 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 16:45

agreed, but the smart girlfriend would probably have asked her boyfriend about it laterr. he was screwed from the moment he cheated.

ilovemydoodle123 0

Monday 30 August 2010 11:43

ok well if that is true, he totally deserved it.

randomsmurf 0

Wednesday 22 September 2010 11:19

FATALITY! FLAWLESS VICTORY!

cookiemonsterxox_fml 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 21:19

You deserve sht for not keeping antthig quiet. Your such a tatle.

asherah14 7

Wednesday 1 February 2012 4:08

Learn to type/spell

mk58 31

Thursday 19 April 2012 19:17

Go back to school please.

dakins 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 5:43

every1 is blaming this guy no1s even talking about how massive of a dick his bro is. priority?

ars29 7

Monday 6 June 2011 2:09

bros before hos man

withered 30

Tuesday 7 June 2016 8:41

He did that. His "bro" is the hoe.

ThogTheCaveman 7

Tuesday 7 June 2011 6:44

Not really. All in all, OP was being considerate. How many girls do you know who want to be told that the guy they've been dating for years is a faithless bastard?