Intimacy: Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying...

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 470

You deserved it 149 842

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Same thing different taste

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 530

You deserved it 38 965

Bang for your buck

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 06:00

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 595

By Anonymous - 11/04/2015 22:05 - United States - Shelby

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 974

You deserved it 11 920

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 830

You deserved it 6 815

Messy

By hopeless1 - 26/04/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 018

You deserved it 5 854

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 297

You deserved it 8 780

Oh, hi…

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 968

You deserved it 31 237

Oh, hai Mark!

By SHAME! - 20/05/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 2 052

By monogamyisalie - 23/07/2015 17:29 - United States

Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 065

You deserved it 2 791

Broke

By hobo no-no - 10/11/2020 08:00 - United States

Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 161

L4m3r 3

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:15

I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.

Ineffableturtle 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:04

no need to judge, and least the sex was good?

Comments

robocafaz 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 8:43

That man is my HERO.

jgars575 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:36

i say FML only because you are without bread and cheese. i think its perfectly reasonable to casually sleep with someone without expecting them to take your delicious dairy and bread. also yeah...get checked

MajorTom85 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 6:51

This reminds me of Arrested Development.. Lindsay meets Tom Jane pretending to be a homeless guy while studying for a role... I just want my kids back.

hawkloverr 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:08

some day that's going to happen to me

athenaisgee1993 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 8:47

If I were you, I would go to a clinic, STAT! -maybe 2 different ones, and get e v e r y STD test possible..... You should be ashamed... But, blame it on the alcohol, right??? No. Blame it on ignorance... FYL, and YDI..

medusachic666 0

Monday 25 May 2009 5:54

This FML totally sounds like an Arrested Development ripoff. Episode "The One Where They Build A House", Season 2 episode 2. http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi3566927897/ Sucks to have hooked up with a homeless guy. And getting your food stolen. Like, great for all you politically correct and sensitive people, but it's still gross and you'd freak out if it happened to you.

black_barbie10 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:49

ew. thats so gross,you should practice abstinence :)

fegd 0

Monday 1 June 2009 22:42

GROSS

necropalice 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 5:48

#192 As the homeless guy, or the unlucky/lucky chick? (Luck depends on perspective). Meanwhile, OP - you live and learn. Could be ******* worse.

yeswecan_fml 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 0:59

hey, don't judge. just because he is homeless doesnt mean he is horrible or insane or disgusting or disease ridden. he could be a good guy down on his luck or do it by choice. ever read into the wild? he was a bum but a thoughtful one and not a bad guy.