Animals: Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the...

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 968

You deserved it 6 327

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Same thing different taste

By ktwithaq - 18/10/2010 11:27 - United States

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 807

You deserved it 5 373

Follow the yellow brown road

By cat_lady - 05/04/2020 17:00

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 333

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 187

By Jeanna S. - 23/11/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 419

You deserved it 28 300

By Ew. - 09/04/2012 15:22 - United Kingdom

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 910

You deserved it 9 244

Unloveable

By sal - 27/09/2020 05:02 - Canada

Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 301

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 638

You deserved it 5 852

Sorry little buddy

By Sorry kitty - 23/11/2022 16:00

Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 225

Strange domestic arrangement

By Mike - 24/05/2021 13:59

Today, because I wanted to let my cat have his breakfast before I used the bathroom, which is also his dining room, I learned that when your day starts with shitting your pants, things can only get better from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 966

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 16:02 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 858

You deserved it 54 925

rocketslider 0

Friday 29 July 2011 23:14

at least he listened :')

YayorNay 8

Friday 29 July 2011 23:20

So the cat still gives a shit.

Comments

werx 6

Sunday 31 July 2011 0:48

I'll be your friend.

nabs_fml 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:46

well it's a cat what do u expect?? meoow!

Theolivermand 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 3:34

forever alone

xocutexofunnyxo 5

Monday 1 August 2011 3:43

Someone needs a hug

lulzmylife 4

Monday 1 August 2011 5:47

I recommend getting a dog.

bigunner1111 0

Monday 1 August 2011 5:49

At least u have a cat. I don't got shit.

SadinSherman 16

Monday 1 August 2011 7:11

Maybe you should make friends at work

PureBreh707 0

Monday 1 August 2011 9:30

Maybe you had a shitty day;)

ziphii 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:02

I don't see what having a full-time job has to do with not having any friends. Assuming you had friends before you started your job, don't they work full-time too? Don't you get weekends off? Or some days off?