Work: Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my... - FML

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 763

You deserved it 71 137

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Same thing different taste

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 159

You deserved it 18 548

Pissed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 719

You deserved it 6 583

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 658

You deserved it 3 145

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 196

You deserved it 2 802

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 735

You deserved it 1 320

Waste of time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 93

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 8 676

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 926

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 510

You deserved it 3 701

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 053

You deserved it 2 556

Next

Top comments

panny10112326 1

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:53

Why even bother putting FML if you totally deserved it?? Drugs= baaaaad shit.

The_Hitdude 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:54

Yeah... Paying the same friend you rip a bong with to pass a drug test for you isn't a good idea. Must've been high when you agreed to that.

Comments

wtfmeesh 4

Monday 22 October 2012 23:42

Over 6000 drug users who aren't smart enough to buy piss cleaner are the only ones that don't think you deserved that.

jjavier2453 4

Saturday 3 November 2012 1:31

you gotta wonder about someone selling pee... :P

hiandrews69 29

Friday 15 February 2013 5:52

I pray that you aren't getting gov aid, op. Because I would have to punch you in the face. Also, if you want to drugs so badly, move to CO or WA.... It's legal there, dick.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 14 April 2015 15:31

I have no words on the stupidity of this.

rick_aye7 4

Wednesday 27 January 2016 19:36

Lol

Rammer3500 23

Monday 28 March 2016 6:08

Who the hell do you expect will sympathize with you over this?

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Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

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You deserved it 2 613

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I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 458

Today, I was at a birthday party and got my face rubbed in cake. When I came out of the restroom having washed my face, I noticed one of the girls going in. Just to be nice, I asked, "They put cake on your face too, did they?" She said no, that was just her make-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 961

You deserved it 35 293

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I agree, your life sucks 31 680

You deserved it 13 267

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 333