Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and...

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

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vote type 1 4 258

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By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

agreeclassic 27 517

vote type 1 3 388

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

agreeclassic 22 366

vote type 1 14 521

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

agreeclassic 29 603

vote type 1 3 719

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

agreeclassic 1 789

vote type 1 263

Public freakout

By Rem - 26/10/2025 15:00

Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML

agreeclassic 389

vote type 1 74

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

agreeclassic 30 677

vote type 1 2 465

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

agreeclassic 50 171

vote type 1 4 668

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

agreeclassic 1 033

vote type 1 230

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

agreeclassic 8 445

vote type 1 65 699

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

agreeclassic 2 550

vote type 1 172

IntoTheClouds 42

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

That's a funny story, actually.

MrHankie1999 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

They are confused because it didn't have a siren.

Comments

cobaltss06 1

Monday 9 January 2012 15:24

Lol this is something I would do :)

XoDEMONCHYLDE007 0

Monday 9 January 2012 15:34

Thats epic! Im sad i didnt think of that myself.

dannyboy66 7

Monday 9 January 2012 16:07

Prisoner: why you in here? Op's husband: stole a po po's horse Prisoner: Niiiiiiiiicccccccceeeee!!!

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 9 January 2012 16:22

At least it was not Mike Tyson's tiger!

redmnky21 8

Monday 9 January 2012 17:14

why did u bail him out, I'd have left him there as a wake-up call

diverse562 0

Monday 9 January 2012 17:19

That's ****** awesome!!! The dudes from the hangover don't have shit on your husband and his friends lol

hateevryone 14

Monday 9 January 2012 18:24

lol your husband reminds me of peter griffin.

Calen5556 0

Monday 9 January 2012 19:53

Oh the effects of playing too much skyrim.

MaryPoppins88 14

Monday 9 January 2012 20:09

Lol looks like you got yourself a winner there

steebewundah 3

Monday 9 January 2012 20:13

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Today, I found out how hard it is to actually change light bulbs. I work with electricians. FML

agreeclassic 616

vote type 1 311

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

agreeclassic 48 767

vote type 1 8 796

Today, I posted a picture of a drawing that I was so proud of on Twitter. It was the best drawing I’ve ever done. A few minutes later, someone commented saying, “What is this?” Looks like it’s back to the drawing board for me. FML

agreeclassic 847

vote type 1 226

Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML

agreeclassic 7 956

vote type 1 17 945

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

agreeclassic 31 031

vote type 1 17 438

Today, after almost two months, I almost finished sorting through my boyfriend's Magic: The Gathering cards. He has been collecting them for 10 years and never bothered to keep them organised. The box of Mythic Rare cards that I was saving till last is missing. I remember exactly where it was, and no one has seen it. FML

agreeclassic 487

vote type 1 179