Miscellaneous: Today, I fell. Twice. Once tripping over a tennis ball and spraining...

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By bunyan67 - 25/06/2016 04:40 - United States - Chanhassen

Today, I fell. Twice. Once tripping over a tennis ball and spraining my wrist, and then again walking down the stairs holding a bowl of popcorn when I tripped over my foot and tumbled down the stairs spraining my ankle. FML

agreeclassic 435

vote type 1 67

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TOP COMMENTS

LadyKayDee 23

Sunday 26 June 2016 5:55

Was the popcorn okay?

Sasquatch7788 6

Sunday 26 June 2016 6:46

let's hear it for Murphy

Comments

LadyKayDee 23

Sunday 26 June 2016 5:55

Was the popcorn okay?

Sasquatch7788 6

Sunday 26 June 2016 6:46

let's hear it for Murphy

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML

agreeclassic 1 131

vote type 1 627

Today, my 5-year-old told me that she'd learnt about gravity, then asked, “So when you fall down, is it because the Earth punched you?” I said yes, along with a giggle. Later at the supermarket, she tripped and screamed, “THE EARTH HIT ME AGAIN!” I was then reminded of high school when it felt like everyone was staring at me. FML

agreeclassic 76

vote type 1 397

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

agreeclassic 1 847

vote type 1 449

Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML

agreeclassic 8 381

vote type 1 4 683

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

agreeclassic 8 161

vote type 1 28 395

Today, I think I found the person I feel is my soulmate while I was in Montana this past weekend. My friend’s wife’s best friend. She was perfect, same sense of humor, same sarcasm, good morals, and absolutely gorgeous. I was struck. And then I received a text message from my wife. FML

agreeclassic 444

vote type 1 2 587